Great visuals, story delivers no surprises

Absolutely Fantastic

This is a small, humorous movie in some ways, but it has a huge heart. What a nice experience.

The storyline feels a little thin and moth-eaten in parts but this sequel is plenty of fun.

This is an 80s actioner about as generic as they come, only without good action, without memorable characters, and even without sexiness (which should have been the point of putting fashion models in the jungle). The thing is, this could have been soooo much better if anyone really had put some passion into this project. The setup has a lot of potential, but nearly every single opportunity gets wasted by bad writing or directing. The pretty girls get no sexy scenes, the villains get offed in very uninteresting ways (and much too quickly - what a waste of Sybil Danning), the heroes don't get much heroing to do, and the jungle setting is used for maybe 10 minutes.That the movie had potential is witnessed by the fact that I was able to sit through it without fast-forwarding; despite all its flaws it's at least quickly paced and loud - 5/10.

A pretty irritating guy named Larry (Gortner) is in charge of corralling a bunch of models and flying them down to an unnamed South or Central American country (the movie itself was shot in Mexico). They inadvertently land in the thick jungles of drug-smuggling country. This particular gang of drug lords is commanded by Santiago (Smith) and his sister Angel (Danning). They have a team of thugs led by Luther (Strode). It's not looking good for the models, and making things even worse is that a mobster named Vito Mastranga (Vernon) and his associate Nick Spilotro (Cord) are collaborating with Santiago and Angel and are in negotiations for future highly illegal doings. With no prior combat training, the models are going to have to take up arms against their captors if they ever want to strut on the catwalk ever again. Will they be able to pull off this daring feat? You'd think - you'd REALLY think - that a movie about a bunch of models who get together and have to shoot a bunch of guns to escape the jungle and get back at the baddies would be a surefire formula for cinematic greatness. Or at least entertainment. Somehow Jungle Warriors manages to fumble this potential home run, to use a spot-on sports analogy. Lamely, the movie is talky, boring, slow, lacks action, and the worst crime of all is that it's not exploitative enough. To compare it to something, Raw Force (1982) is better, and Jungle Warriors kind of falls into that video store shelf-filler netherworld inhabited by the likes of other similarly-themed mediocre flicks like Savage Justice (1988) and Sweet Revenge (1987). Though to be fair and balanced, it is better than Mercenary II (1999).Perhaps you even saw this or the aforementioned titles collecting dust on the shelf of your local video store. Sybil Danning's face couldn't be much bigger on the U.S. VHS box art (as was the case with her "Adventure Video" series), but she is painfully underused in the movie itself. Another quite easy thing the movie could have done to improve itself would have been to include more Danning. Actually, pretty much the entire cast gets the short end of the stick somehow. Woody Strode says nothing, Danning is barely there, Paul L. Smith has no facial hair and does minimal fighting, John Vernon is in a veritable sit-down role, Alex Cord does what he can, and only Marjoe Gortner adds some Woody Allen-like spice to this mush. The models don't seem to have individual personalities.It's a plot we've all seen many times before, and they saved all the supposed action for the climax. Some pew-pew machine gun shooting and maybe an exploding helicopter at the last minute doesn't make up for all the waterfall footage we'd seen for the previous eighty or so minutes. But on the plus side, 80's buffs will be delighted to see a vicious-looking drug goon wearing an E.T. shirt, and a too-brief glimpse of the wardrobe girl on the fashion shoot who has a sideways ponytail and is listening to a Walkman with orange ear covers. She should have gotten her own movie, she was the best character. The whole thing tops off with a theme song featuring the aggressively abrasive, Lene Lovich-like vocals of one Marina Arcangeli. So it all ends on a bad note, literally.Jungle Warriors is unfortunately lackluster, and it should have been called, if we may borrow a phrase from ourselves, Jungle Slog.

That's the gist of this very lively and very amusing trash. It's paced incredibly well, features the required dose of delectable nudity and exploitation, and is overall pretty well shot. It also features a B movie cast to die for, which is what may bring this diversion to the attention of sleaze aficionados. The godawful theme song is one debit, but that can't do much to affect the basic entertainment value of this thing. It gets off to a fine start and eventually leads to a wild finale with lots of gunfire and squib use and explosions. Director & producer Ernst R. von Theumer, brought into to replace the fired Billy Fine, knows full well what kind of movie he's making and does his best to ensure that the viewers have a good time.A bevy of babes fly to an unnamed South American country to scout locations for a photo shoot, not knowing that they're doing this at a bad time. A major deal is going down between an American mobster, Vito Mastranga (John Vernon) and powerful drug lord Cesar Santiago (Paul L. Smith). The plane in which the models travel ventures too close to the drug lords' domain, and is subsequently shot down. The girls and their companions, Joanna Quinn (Nina van Pallandt), Larry (Marjoe Gortner), Laura (the ever bubbly Louisa Moritz), and pilot Ben Sturges (Kai Wulff) are captured by Cesars' minions and tortured by his kinky lesbian sister Angel (Sybil Danning, looking mighty fine as always).The cast of familiar faces also includes Alex Cord as Vitos' concerned nephew Nick, Woody Strode as an efficient goon in Cesars' employ, and Dana Elcar as a federal agent. It's a treat to see all of them here. Danning is particularly juicy, but Smith, as could be expected, is an absolute hoot as a tough as nails baddie. The ladies playing the models are lovely. The story is a pretty straightforward one, and it moves along nicely to that aforementioned action climax.This one doesn't appear to be that well known, so if you're looking for lesser known B level sleaze epics from decades past, give it a look.Eight out of 10.

I like jungle movies. Usually some people are cast away in the virgin forest and have to find their way out of it – often they are very ill equipped, wear a nightgown (see Ann Sheridan in Jacques Tourneur's Appointment in Honduras) or high heels, like in this flick. The story is very simple, but effective. Some babes and another team of bad dudes have appointments in an exotic country, the first for a shooting session with a fashion photographer, the second for some drug trade. The groups meet and clash and there is a lot of barrel melting gun action.As I said, it works and delivers good and insightful entertainment. I found the cast very interesting. There are some good character actors. Marjoe Gortner (Earthquake, The Nelson Marcus Murders-Kojak pilot) plays the fashion photographer as an overexcited, bossy, fussy mother hen, it looks like he thinks it is the biggest part of his career. Don Siegel regular John Vernon (was also Cuban thug in Hitchcock's Topaz) is the Mafioso who doesn't seem to have a worry in the world although the whole atmosphere is very tense. He is always laughing without any apparent reason (I suspect he was drunk during the whole shoot). Woody Stroude appears too, as a mixture of guerrilla and bodyguard. He seems to have a good time and displays much unexpected charm.That's not all. The movie also boasts two iconic female leads: Nina Van Pallandt (Robert Altman's The Long Goodbye) is the leader of the fashion shooting crew. She gets a lot of screen time and is surprisingly effective in a role that would have been tailor made for Pam Grier. Muscular, wispy haired sex symbol Sybil Danning (kind of Austrian women's answer to Arnold Schwarzenegger) plays the sister of the drug lord (a Broderick Crawford lookalike, is also good and convincing).MINOR SPOILER The story goes as those stories go. There is a good climactic scene towards the end: The drug lord and his entourage have dinner with the mafioso and his team on an open air terrace under the trees. Everybody is friendly, but it's clear that they all distrust each other. At the same time the captured babes manage to free themselves inside the drug lord's palace, of which the party is not aware. The women try to get away, they shoot at a guard. As soon as it rings out, hell breaks loose on the terrace, everybody overturning tables and reaching for a firearm. It's really well done.A last word about the location. Almost all of the action takes place in the drug lord's castle, an old, venerable, architectonically interesting Mexican fortress that is put to good use by the film makers. I could bet on it they used exactly the same place for the Harrison Ford starrer Clear and Present Danger (as a Colombian drug lord's lair).