Memorable, crazy movie

In truth, there is barely enough story here to make a film.

a film so unique, intoxicating and bizarre that it not only demands another viewing, but is also forgivable as a satirical comedy where the jokes eventually take the back seat.

While it doesn't offer any answers, it both thrills and makes you think.

About all this movie has going for it are beautiful actors, both men and women, in various states of undress; beefcake, buns, and boobs in almost every scene.The plot, however, is thin even by Andy Sidaris standards. You can watch the movie with the sound off and get all of the benefit of this movie, and experience none of its painful dialogue.Watching this movie silent will not only leave you unaffected by the movie's nearly pointless plot exposition, it will let you fast-forward over several scenes of one of the most inventively annoying screenwriter's devices I have ever seen on film: a woman ad libs faux mystical horoscope babble into a radio microphone in order to narrate events of the plot she sees unfold on a TV screen. The crime fighting good guys in the movie listen in on this radio program and, amazingly, de-babblize our swimmy swami's jibber jabber into actionable intelligence.Are you getting this? The filmmakers have managed to turn the perfectly legitimate third-party omniscient storytelling viewpoint into a kind of RF modulated astral projection! Either that, or the good guys have got TV crews running all over the landscape surveilling the bad guys, yet this same highly-effective intelligence gathering organization must inexplicably call in a small pack of babes and studs to effect positive change in this world. WTF?!Even the gun play and gadgetry of this film are thin by Sidaris standards. This is the last film in the "Girls, Guns and G-Strings" collection; he's clearly phoning it in at this point.

There is only one reason to watch an Andy Sidaris movie. The women. As action movies they are seriously lacking, as T&A flicks they're pretty outstanding. Somehow Sidaris managed to get a bevy of gorgeous buxom Penthouse/Playboy babes to star in his films. Without the girls his movies would be borderline unbearable. But fortunately we will never have to put this hypothetical theory to the test, as all of Sidaris's action flicks follow the same formula of kick-ass chicks in stories involving lots of bullets and lots of boobs.I suppose there was a plot to this one. It was something to do with a stolen floppy disk. But you really don't need to know about that. The important thing to report is that this one stars Julie K. Smith and Shae Marks. A more pneumatically sexy duo of women you will be hard pressed to see in one movie. If there was only one thing that Sidaris should be remembered for it would be in getting the lovely Shae Marks to appear in a couple of his movies and keep on removing her clothes at regular intervals.Alongside Day of the Warrior, Return to Savage Beach is probably Sidaris's best film.

I only give it a one because this doesn't allow negatives, and for the fact that it had some VERY BEAUTIFUL WOMEN! Aside from physical attractiveness, this movie had nothing. NO ACTING, No Plot, pathetic chase scenes, lame make-up, No suspense. It doesn't even deserve to be in the B-Rated films. This movie made Napolean Dynamite look intelligent. Is there any rating down around L, M, or N. The only thing that could have made this watchable would have been to make X-Rated. Tiny Tim sang Tip-Toe Through the Tulips better than any of these people acted. The dudes in this movie were even worse than the ladies. The one guy looked like he had cue cars "H-E-L-D....U-P....F-O-R....H-I-M...T-O....R-E-A-D. If he were any worse, they would have to call him in the the New Ocean Spray Cranberry commercials. I have without a doubt scene better video on www.stupidvideos.com. A little advice to Mr. Sicardis, just because you have a video camera and money to produce a movie....DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD!!!

Similar to Acalpuco HEAT, the syndicated TV show, this is a secret service agency that fights terrorists. The notable exception of this movie is that every female character has enormous boobs. Most of the women easily surpass Double D cup sizes. Every female character is matched with a studly male coagent who has to have sex with their respective costar during the movie at least once. This doesn't leave much time for a realistic plot scene, but hey, if you are watching this, you weren't really expecting much but Tits and Ass were you? Of note, this is when Shae Marks breasts were at her biggest before she had some of the silicone taken out. They are impressive to say the least