hyped garbage

Highly Overrated But Still Good

This story has more twists and turns than a second-rate soap opera.

All of these films share one commonality, that being a kind of emotional center that humanizes a cast of monsters.

The description of this movie made it sound like it was in the Die Hard mold. But it not only falls far short of those intelligent, elaborate movies. It does not even measure up to copies like Sudden Death, with Van Damme. Even a 1994 film called Crackerjack -- with Thomas Ian Griffith as a cop and Christopher Plummer as a neo-Nazi, clashing at a mountain resort over a complicated plan to steal millions in mob diamonds and to cover it up -- which is also hampered by lame writing and acting, manages to be a better low-budget knockoff than No Contest.No Contest is about a big-shot bad guy taking over by force of arms the penthouse of a hotel that hosts a beauty pageant in which a Senator's daughter is a contestant, setting bombs all over the entrances, and then demanding millions in diamonds. The villain is "Bryce," Andrew Dice Clay. He talks tough and piles up bodies as the man who had been in charge of the corrupt Senator's Florida transport company. That operation had been in bed with Colombian drug-lords and was sold out to the DEA, after which Bryce supposedly died in a firefight.The heroine is Shannon Tweed, talking tough and packing Uzis as the former pageant winner who went on to star in martial arts films (it is interesting to see Tweed in more of a straight role than her usual soft-porn fare). She spouts limp lines like "I'll eat a tub of Ben & Jerry's Jerry Garcia ice cream" and, after beating in the head of wrestler Roddy Piper (as bad-guy "Ice") with a satchel of ice cubes, "I iced Ice." On the outskirts is a hapless Robert Davi as a gimp-legged former State Department embassy security specialist who was hired and fired by the Senator after his daughter was taken hostage and who, naturally, in addition to talking big throughout the movie, manages to hang underneath a scenic elevator, horn in on the rooftop action, and get wounded near the end. John Colicos plays the cliché, all-bad Senator. Computer and bomb wizardry is thrown in as well, of course.The large-scale, high-stakes plot, some cheesy elements, and some recognizable actors create some interest and nudge the movie above one star. But none of this is an excuse for the glib, sloppy "reviews" that give the movie an easy pass, saying, "come on, guys, this is supposed to be bad." That kind of shallow assessment, and the lazy, unintelligent flicking of the "not helpful" button on any review that refuses to settle for it, does nothing but contribute to the impression that moviegoers are suckers. The many other reviews have it right that the writing and acting in this movie are half-baked and half-hearted. As a result, the movie does not even manage to be bad in a fun-to-watch way. Instead, it ends up feeling like a thin, overblown, incompetent disappointment.

No Contest (1994) was a strange brew of a movie. This film starred the likes of Shannon Tweed, Andrew "Dice" Clay, Roddy Piper and Robert Davi. This film was a total cheese fest from the beginning until the end. A DIE-HARD rip-off that totally succeeds on it's own. Andrew "Dice" Clay stars as a desperate man who's henchmen (including his right-hand man Roddy Piper) storm a high ride building and holds it's occupants hostage. Shannon Tweed co-stars as a woman who launches her own rescue team from the inside. Her outside contact is a crippled Robert Davi.Mnay questions are raised in this film. Why does the "Dice Man" go to such a great length to hold these people hostage? Will the local authorities save the day? Can Ms. Tweed kick butt and takes names? How does Robert Davi figure into the flow of the movie? Does Roddy Piper get to show off his nut-case side again? To find out the answers to these questions you'll have to watch NO CONTEST.Not bad for a direct-to-video-film. I found this movie to be highly entertaining and dismissed for no apparent reason. People please remember it's supposed to be bad and these actors don't take themselves seriously at all.Highly recommended.

Shannon Tweed as a heroine? Andrew Dice Clay and Roddy Piper as bad guys? All three in a DIE HARD rip-off taking place at a beauty pagent? Hey, this isn't going to be a masterpiece, but it sounds like it would be great fun as a trashy movie!I said "sounds like". But I was sorely disappointed. Tweed doesn't get naked. The action scenes aren't that great. Clay and Piper aren't that campy, and don't seem to be that enthusiastic.Not the worst DIE HARD rip-off out there. But _nowhere_ the great movie it could have been. I know the premise sounds great, especially with those actors, but trust me, it's disappointing.

Even with a healthy suspension of belief, this movie is so illogical it's actually be fun to watch. I defy anyone to find a piece of scenery that hasn't been chewed to pieces. One complaint: the casting is all wrong. Robert Davi should've been the criminal mastermind, Roddy Piper the cop, and Dice the cold blooded henchman. It's entirely possible that all the females in the picture (excepting Shannon Tweed) are really beauty pageant contestants, their acting is so bad.