everything you have heard about this movie is true.

Dreadfully Boring

After playing with our expectations, this turns out to be a very different sort of film.

Great story, amazing characters, superb action, enthralling cinematography. Yes, this is something I am glad I spent money on.

Sylvester Stallone directed and produced as well as starred in Paradise Alley about three brothers named Carboni. Sly is a gladhanding con man of the first order. He might even have conned a 4F for himself to get out military service in World War II. Flat feet was a mighty subjective deferment back in the day.Brother Armand Assante served however and now walk with a limp and is a bitter man now working as an undertaker. The youngest is a giant of a man Lee Canalito who works as an iceman. Carrying those blocks of ice up several tenement stories in Hell's Kitchen will develop your biceps.When at Paradise Alley which is a local underground nightclub/sports arena Canalito wins an arm wrestling match with a local wrestler managed by the club owner Kevin Conway. It occurs first to Stallone that Canalito's physique and Rocky like training and dedication might be a way out of Hell's Kitchen. It starts to look that way, but the brothers themselves change in interesting ways.I have to single out Frank McRae former football player who delivers a memorable performance as a down and out wrestler who lives on Conway's pocket change. His last scene with Stallone is memorable.So is Conway. He's one nasty little customer, constantly using derogatory ethnic terms. Stallone made a very good point about the ethnic rivalries in working class neighborhoods like Hell's Kitchen. In the end Canalito embarrasses Conway, humiliates him more likely in a way that he will never be an intimidating figure again.Paradise Alley might not have gathered the enduring following that Rocky did. But it is still a fine and enduring film.

Stallone thought he was Brando and Coppola on this one, a complete ego trip, he even sings the title song, horrendously I might add. Every goombah cliché is in here. The dialogue includes such beauties as "She's got a lovely set of yams" and characters have names like "Sticky," "Burp" and "Stitch." Wow is it bad. You have to be a die-hard Stallone fan to enjoy this self-indulgent tripe. Although it's nice to see a young Tom Waits, Anne Archer and Armande Assante, all too classy for this cornball crapola. Waits even contributes to the soundtrack, but the songs are not his crowning achievement. Despite what others are saying here, this is one flick the critics got right the first time around. Fresh off "Rocky," Stallone thought he could do anything, but he failed. If you like your meatballs lathered with a think layer of cheese, then by all means, take a peek. But the rest of you, yo! Get outta here!

Apparently this movie was not beloved by critics like the original Rocky, and I had personally never heard of it. I just happened to catch it on television once and decided to watch it and while I am not the biggest wrestling fan this movie kept my interest. Wrestling is more of a side note anyways, it plays an important part in the movie, but the main focus is on these three brothers and that is what makes it enjoyable to watch, the last wrestling match in fact detracts from the movie as it was less entertaining than seeing the interplay between the brothers as they try to make their lives better. Like I said nothing all that great, but it held my attention while it was on and you get some spots from actual wrestlers Ted Debiase and Terry Funk, there may have been others, but they were the only ones I noticed, but like I said not the biggest fan of wrestling. If they could have substituted street brawling or something in its place it may have worked better as a movie, but as it is it is okay.

I didn't quite know what to make of "Paradise Alley" when it first came out in 1978, and quite truthfully, I don't quite know what to make of it today. Back in the mid 1960's I became quite a fan of professional wrestling, oxymoron as that description is. So it was the wrestling theme that prompted me to see it during it's theatrical release. Coming off the success of "Rocky", it was as if Sylvester Stallone had to follow up that first hit with another self propelled film as writer, actor and director. The comparisons to "Rocky", inevitable as they are, should be a cautionary one though. The former was a true diamond in the rough honored as "Best Picture", while "Paradise" and it's characters have trouble defining themselves in post War 1946 Hell's Kitchen.It seems as if each of the Carboni Brothers undergoes a personality change during the story. Cosmo (Stallone) is the schemer who prompts Victor (Lee Cannalito) to become a wrestler by going up against and defeating the house champion Big Glory (Frank McRae). Brother Lenny (Armand Assante) is at first protective of Victor, but with the wrestler's success in the ring, the tables turn and Cosmo begins to question Lenny's ethics and handling of the purses. Lenny becomes the stereotype of a boxing manager, deflecting questions about his integrity and how he's handling Vic's money.For me, a couple of things didn't ring true historically for the film's 1940's setting. The characters of Annie (Anne Archer) and Bunchie (Joyce Ingalls) looked just a little bit too glamorous for the story's backdrop. As for the wrestling scenes, though well done and featuring some of the mid '70's top mat stars, they were based quite heavily on the actual wrestling style of the Seventies. You had your grappling moves defined by flips and throws, punctuated by a Ray Stevens maneuver as he catapults into a turnbuckle. However most mat action prior to the 1960's was anything but, with rare exception. Even the widely available 1960 championship bout between Buddy Rogers and Pat O'Connor featured a lot of stale and boring rest holds.Ironically, I just saw this film again on the cable Yes Network hosted by Yogi Berra in a format titled "Yogi and a Movie". Between scenes, the famed Yankee great would talk about his youth and watching pro wrestlers like Lou Thesz and Strangler Lewis. Story boards between acts mentioned a lot of trivia about the film that appears on the IMDb site for this movie, which leads me to believe that it could have been a reference point for the presentation.There are a number of reasons to check out "Paradise Alley", and not just to be a Stallone completist. The filming style, particularly some of the bar scenes with their red tint lends a certain uniqueness to the movie. Another is the voice of Sly Stallone singing "Too Close to Paradise" over the opening credits and the rooftop race against "Rat" (Paul Mace). The one scene though that will test your patience is Victor singing to his parakeet, it's probably the one scene in film history that had me wishing for fingernails on a chalkboard.