Self-important, over-dramatic, uninspired.

There is just so much movie here. For some it may be too much. But in the same secretly sarcastic way most telemarketers say the phrase, the title of this one is particularly apt.

At first rather annoying in its heavy emphasis on reenactments, this movie ultimately proves fascinating, simply because the complicated, highly dramatic tale it tells still almost defies belief.

It’s not bad or unwatchable but despite the amplitude of the spectacle, the end result is underwhelming.

Oh My ! Who would rate this home movie 8 or 10, as two reviewers here did ? Well, perhaps members of the cast or crew, or their friends or relatives. Or moviegoers who love sitting through awful flicks. I'm rating this film 3 because a) it is NOT shot in almost total darkness (as are most lousy horror flicks), b) because the acting is so substandard it is actually amusing, and c) there is a recognisable story which allows the movie to develop. Did the makers of this cinematic experience know that there is a real "Cantelmi Funeral Home" ? It's located at Fountain Hill, PA. I thought movie-makers strove to avoid using actual place names like that. No ?The little girl ghostly apparition was not exactly an Oscar-winning special effect, but, like the acting, somewhat amusing. One of the best lines in this film is "This house creeps me out", to which the person addressed replies "Your uncle creeps me out". This movie creeped (crept?) me out, ha ha ha.

And yes, it has happened! I graded a movie with 1 star! Just one! And that is only because there are no half measures here.I managed to watch this movie, I followed the plot, the actors, the acting, the CGIs, the whole bunch, and I must say, it really was dreadful. Is one of the worse movies I've seen, and boy did I see a lot, but to put such a thing on a tape, to post it, to let others see it?!?It is horribly cheap and horrible itself, an experience like I never had so far, so I guess, the new low for me, will be Paranormal Captivity. Not so much to say, of course, avoid, just avoid and you'll be safe. With whatever else you decided to go, you'll be better, trust me on this one.Cheers!

***Minor Spoilers***WOW!! Paranormal Captivity tells the story of Sarah. She loses her husband, her home and most of her money. That forces her to move in with her creepy old Uncle. A psychotic debt collector is after her and she's being stalked. Is it by ghosts or a crazy funeral director?There are three story lines in Paranormal Captivity that are all related to the unfortunate Sarah (Caitlyn Fletcher). Sarah and Thomas the debt collector (Roberto Lombardi), Sarah and the funeral director (Edward X. Young) and Sarah and the ghosts/Uncle Steven (Samuel L.M. Cole).The three stories seem unrelated, but intersect at the end of the film where there is a big plot twist and reveal! It's all very well thought out and leads the viewer in one direction only to take a left turn at the end! Great stuff!Other notable performances are Jason Vail as Gary, Suzi Lorraine as Samantha, Linnea Sage as Kelly and Jerry Ross as William. Each of these supporting characters drive the story along and add to the lead characters.The ghost effects are done really well and the makeup and blood effects are all practical. No CGI! Highly recommended!

Down on her luck Sara Kimmick (a sturdy and sympathetic performance by Caitlyn Fletcher) has to move into a rundown house owned by her senile Uncle Steven (a convincingly doddery portrayal by Samuel L.M. Cole) after her husband meets an untimely death. Pretty soon strange things begin to happen. Is the house haunted? Or is something more real and evil afoot? Writer/director John Orrichio does an ace job of not only crafting a creepy and unsettling atmosphere, but also generates a substantial amount of suspense as well. The tricky and intricate narrative keeps the viewer guessing on how the multiple story lines will ultimately tie together at the end. The gradual pace casts a hypnotic spell. Moreover, this movie further benefits from two excellent indie actors bringing their considerable A game to the proceedings: Roberto Lombardi forcefully projects a truly terrifying blend of intensity and ferocity as ruthless and sadistic debt collector Thomas Callan while Edward X. Young cuts a deeply unnerving figure as a sleazy and sinister funeral home director. In addition, there are sound contributions from Jerry Ross as helpful psychic William Manning, Suzi Lorraine as Callan's cowed abused girlfriend Samantha Raymond, Linnea Sage as Sara's loyal gal pal Kelly Davis, and Christina Sampson as the hard-nosed Detective Robinson. Ira Goldberg's sharp cinematography boasts a few breathtaking aerial shots and provides an impressive polished look. Anthony Belluscio's shuddery score hits the spine-tingling spot. Well worth seeing.