Sorry, this movie sucks

A Masterpiece!

Each character in this movie — down to the smallest one — is an individual rather than a type, prone to spontaneous changes of mood and sometimes amusing outbursts of pettiness or ill humor.

It’s sentimental, ridiculously long and only occasionally funny

A load of bland blokes take up lots of screen time along with an annoying boy and an annoying girl who do some skating. The only reason to watch this film is for Belita. She stars as herself in a film about a company trying to keep onto her as their star attraction for their show. She skates and looks good as always but I wish she had been given a better story.If you like skating, Eugene Turner also turns up as himself and partners Belita on the ice. We have some songs thrown in – not particularly memorable but OK – and we also have the required morale-boosting ending about the Navy where everyone gets to wear a navy Captain's hat. Cool.

Monogram offers us Belita, Monogram's answer to Sonia Henjie. Not that anyone was asking, considering that Miss Henjie was given Lucky Humberstone as a director by this time. As others have noted, Belita seems more the girl who would get what a man was driving at, and RKO's Leslie Goodwins was hired to direct this movie, so it doesn't stink on ice. However, there's not much in the way of script or good songs, and they got Kenny Baker as the young singer. He was okay in the movie version of THE MIKADO, but W.S. Gilbert never had much respect for tenors. Mr. Baker justifies his faith here as he doesn't always bother to match his lips to the words he is singing.That leaves Frick and Frack. These skating clowns have lingered in my mind, even though, so far as I know, I had never heard of them -- it seemed like the sort of name two tummelers, slapstick comedians from the Catskills would have. It turns out that's what they were, and I don't know where I know them from. Perhaps they played the Neverle one summer when I was four and I remember nothing but the funny names. They're actually pretty good.That's the best that can be said for this movie. Like most Monograms, it's fast, it doesn't strain the brain and it's over soon enough. I assume that's how the director felt, because for his next movie, he was back at the comparative luxury of RKO directing Leon Errol in "The Mexican Spitfire's Elephant".

The sublime, the ridiculous and the annoying all get a run in this Monogram dazzler made as a mid war morale booster. BELITA, the Brit skate star who reigned as she skated at Monogram for 5 years was an absolutely gorgeous woman, and her appearances in the musicals like this one and LADY LETS DANCE are simply sensational. Also see SUSPENSE and THE GANGSTER both also made at Monogram for a feast and a fest. She is the best thing about this musical jumble; the worst is mannequin-man and whiny singer Kenny Baker... he is so wooden and his Dagwood looks have always left me cold... colder than the slabs Belita zooms across showing us her crotch. Repeatedly.... The annoying is the haphazard production which often seemed filmed in a corner of the studio.... odd short sets that are just a corner with a door, or big production numbers in a deep narrow set. This film has a truly terrible script and a lot of forced romance. Coupled with bad acting and a remote Pat Morison as the female lead actress, SILVER SKATES only works in the terrific musical skate production numbers... fortunately there are many. Though some are oddly dressed and choreographed... skaters arrive and leave in the background without performing, some wear too many clothes, others in groups wear similar ballgowns but are a razzle of colors and patterns, so it just looks like everyone grabbed anything they could and all rushed on to the ice in a mess of every costume hanging out the back... It actually looks like a suburban church production with costumes from a charity jumble sale. In one big number, compete with santasnow, wet bedsheets, a pine tree and cardboard igloos, we have a bevy of skating chorus girls, a fab kid skater, a penguin and an seal. The penguin wanders about all through two numbers and the viewers eye is constantly distracted from the skate show to see which direction the penguin has wandered off to. At one moment a rush of skating chorus girls just crashes straight into him... and the cameras keep rolling and the poor little thing just wobbles about between their legs. No wildlife wrangler at Monogram! There are two children who skate in this film and they are equally excellent. The big finale, which for no reason is a "battleship extravaganza" features squadrons of skaters in (hooray) matching outfits... but it is filmed from another suburb... the camera is so far away from the 'big set' for a lot of the 'big moments' that we are left wondering why there is 7000 acres of wet white ice in front of the show. The closeups of BELITA and her adagio, whizz-bye-s are excellent and as always she is sexy and sensational. It actually looks like a very cheap high school version of the massive Elanor Powell number from the finale of BORN TO DANCE. But this is a Monogram Picture and as such it is their 'biggie for'43'.... and should be enjoyed as such..... but try finding reason or cohesion in the array of dance numbers of what on earth type of show would manage an excuse for the order they come in or why they are presented. The actual fun in this musical is the mish mash of it all. Then you are truly ready for their SWING PARADE OF 1946 which has a crammed jammed and flung-at-you musical finale more in common with Cole Slaw than Cole Porter.

Figure-skating isn't the most promising basis for a film, nor for an acting career. Esther Williams's movie stardom was based on swimming, but at least MGM could just occasionally hang a decent plot line on that talent. Until somebody makes a movie about Tonya Harding, I don't think I'll ever see a genuinely exciting movie about figure-skating. (Don't let's mention 'Ice Follies of 1939', one of the worst movies ever made.)In American movies, the most famous skater was Sonja Henie, whilst England had Belita. Both women were blonde and attractive with it, especially in their short-skirted cozzies and high-topped skates. Apart from their skating techniques, the biggest difference between these two ladies on screen was their personalities. Henie always played a 'good girl' type: a frosted ice-virgin who didn't seem aware of her own nubile appeal. Belita, on the other hand, was sexy and she knew it. There's a big production number in 'Silver Skates' in which Belita does some spectacular ice-dancing, then she finishes by striking a proud pose at the centre of the rink and running her hands down the front of her own shapely torso while she throws her head backwards in rapture. This is clearly a lady who's very comfortable with her own body.I wish that 'Silver Skates' gave more screen time to the beauteous Belita and less time to its ridiculous soap-opera plot. During WW2, Hollywood made a lot of movies depicting America's homefront, in which the characters briefly pay lip-service to the war effort before immersing themselves in a plot line entirely unrelated to the war. 'Silver Skates' is one of those films. Hitler and Stalin are carving up Europe, but the characters in this movie are more concerned about staging an ice carnival. The presence in the States of the English-born Belita (given nearly no dialogue, alas) is attributed to wartime problems back home. Apart from this, the only wartime reference in this movie is a very brief appearance by a war refugee: a little Dutch girl named Katrina (played by a Yank child actress) whose residency in America has been sponsored by Claire (the ice-show's producer) because Katrina is such a good skater. I guess if she couldn't skate, she would still be back in Rotterdam fending off the Nazis. Claire is played by Patricia Morison, a Broadway actress (she starred in the original 'Kiss Me Kate') whose film career never took off.Apart from Belita's scenes, the most interesting things about 'Silver Skates' are a couple of brief skating turns by Frick and Frack, the comedy ice-skaters. The first time I ever heard of Frick and Frack was when Jackie Gleason did a comedy routine about a (fictitious) vaudeville act with that name, so I assumed that Frick and Frack were American vaudevillains. It turns out they were European, and they got a surprising amount of comedic mileage out of their ice-skating gimmick. Frick was tall and lanky with it, the moustached Frack was short and slightly-built. Their most impressive gag takes advantage of their disparate physiques: the two men skate directly towards each other, in trajectories so rapid that neither man can turn aside. A collision seems imminent. At the last instant, Frick spreads his feet and Frack ducks. Frack goes *between* Frick's legs, then both men straighten again. This is done so quickly that it very nearly looks as if they went right through each other! Frick and Frack perform this gag *twice* in 'Silver Skates', and they do it so skilfully that it's just as funny the second time as the first. (After Frack's death, his partner continued to perform as a single-act named Mister Frick.)Unfortunately, the skating routines (and Belita's good looks) are the only high points in this film. For most of its screen time, we get a banal soap-opera plot about people marrying one another for contrived reasons. Will the ice show go on, or not? (Take a wild guess.) Kenny Baker stinks up this movie with his presence. Kenny Baker was a 'singer' who appeared in several big-budget musicals of the '30s and '40s, but he's invariably the dullest performer on screen in each of his movies. In 'Silver Skates', Kenny Baker never sets foot on the ice rink, but I kept hoping the ice would crack open long enough for him to fall through and drown.'Silver Skates' would make a great ice-skating short if somebody would cut out all the argle-bargle subplots and just leave the skating routines by Belita, Frick and Frack and that little Dutch girl. As it stands, I'll rate this movie only 5 out of 10.