This movie is the proof that the world is becoming a sick and dumb place

brilliant actors, brilliant editing

It's hard to see any effort in the film. There's no comedy to speak of, no real drama and, worst of all.

The film makes a home in your brain and the only cure is to see it again.

When a satellite falls into the New York subway, a transient worker and his family find the unit housed a race of mutated spiders in a secret government project and must race to stop the creatures from overrunning the city.This was quite a decent overall effort that turned out quite average overall. When this works, it's the early build-up of the disaster that strikes the city and the chaos that ensues trying to get everything back in order, which is the first half to this as it's all quite good. The damage to the station and the resulting inspections bring about a rather intriguing series of scenes with the enjoyable action-film scenario present, and with the slowly-unfolding mystery about the eggs and spider-webbing down there it turns nicely into a true-horror effort. The quarantine procedures and the follow-up to the viral outbreak story make for quite an enjoyable time as well which brings about the film's main enjoyable scenes in the spider attacks on the soldiers. Still under the false story about the viral outbreak, the unprepared soldiers fall victim to the human-sized spiders out on the abandoned streets in fine fashion with enjoyable shootouts and action scenes against the creatures who utilize their speed, size and numbers advantage to great effect leading to a lot of good as the battles are ongoing against the rush to get to safety and stop the creatures from getting to the rest of the family. As well, the finale here is the total fun of the traditional monster-on-the-loose creature feature about the gargantuan-sized creature being attacked on the streets by the military with soldiers, bazookas and tanks as well as helicopters all coming together to get the creature while there's still plenty of other thrilling action with the more human-sized ones dealing with their efforts to keep the family alive in the wake of it's destruction, and the overall effect is quite exciting. Combined with the actually-decent CGI for the creatures as well as their enjoyable and creepy design overall, there's a lot to like here but it does have a few problematic areas. The biggest issue for this one is the first half being more covert-spy film than straight up horror as the vast majority of time is spent with the government cover- up about the secret project and getting the two contained that it never really bothers to get a lot of exciting moments in here. The secretive nature of the project makes no sense, as well as the explanation offered for the initial crash as it's clearly seen to be dislodged from a meteor strike yet is continuously claimed as a malfunctioned piece of equipment from an obsolete piece of technology, and the fact that there were numerous witnesses who seen the object fall into the station really makes the viral outbreak story quite illogical for a cover-up to begin with. All told, these tend to drag this out quite readily in the first half and really reduces the spiders' screen time. The other problematic area is the totally unimpressive 3D effects, which are just so lame and hamfisted into the story that there's almost no reason for it to be shot in the format anyway with so little screen-time you actually forget it was filmed that way. These are what really hold this back.Rated R: Graphic Language and Graphic Violence.

Spiders (2013) * 1/2 (out of 4) Another "big monster" movie with this one here centering on a Russian space station that crashes into the subway system of New York City. At first the "issue" seems to be clearing itself up but soon giant spiders are on a killing spree. SPIDERS somehow managed to get a theatrical release, which is kinda strange considering this really isn't any better than the type of monster pictures that show up on SyFy week after week. This is certainly far from a horrible film but I honestly couldn't recommend it over countless other low-budget "B" movies that I've seen here the past decade. At least with the movies that you see on SyFy they are cheap, fun and offer up some sort of badness. SPIDERS, on the other hand, really isn't all that fun. The title of the movie should have been "Walk Around and Talk" because that's pretty much what happens throughout the running time. We're introduced to our "heroes" who pretty much argue with one another as they walk through the streets of New York seeing all the destruction. As for the spiders, the effects are slightly better than what you'd see on SyFy but at the same time they're still pretty cheap and aren't very convincing. The look of the spiders aren't too bad as they're at least mildly entertaining. Of course, they were in 3D in the movie theater so watching at home I wasn't able to judge that. The death scenes in the film are mostly forgettable and there's just nothing special to any of them. The PG-13 rating certainly holds the film back from being "more" and, again, the stuff you see on SyFy is better.

First, it's dumb, because of everything. The mom and the daughter are the screaming idiots in the movie. The dad is the invincible hero. The general is the arrogant plot-device. The spiders aren't even actual spiders, they're some ancient revived monster thing. The soldiers are stupid, doing nothing with guns and torpedoes.Second, it's bland. For a stupid movie like this, the nothing is bad in quality. The plot wasn't bad, the script wasn't too awful, the production wasn't terrible, the effects were quite good actually; the thing is, everything are on a normal scale nothing gets me excited. It was boring because all are generic and so bland. So that's my second complaint.The thing I wanted to compliment on is the effects. DANG! They are the real gem in an ocean. In a long time a stupid, low budget thing would even have ANYTHING AT ALL outstanding, but this one, the effects are. Kudos to all who worked for such little money and still nails the effects right.Overall, it's a dumb movie, but if you have absolutely nothing to do and you want to see some good effects in a pool of stupid crappy movies, see this one.

Problems With Spiders:-Not enough spiders. -The spiders don't kill enough stupid actors. -Christa Campbell's botoxed and sadly altered faced makes her look like Michael Jackson near the end. -Not enough spiders. -When every actor flubbed a line (and they all did at some point, some more than others) it seemed like the director just waved them on to continue. -Seeing the same forty or so extras in nearly every crowd scene (watch for the red hoodie). -Not enough goddammed spiders!I could go on, but it's hot in my apartment right now. PROCEED WITH CAUTION.