This is How Movies Should Be Made

An action-packed slog

It is an exhilarating, distressing, funny and profound film, with one of the more memorable film scores in years,

Close shines in drama with strong language, adult themes.

If I say Larry Clark directed this then you should know by now that it would be a controversial flick. And when I am saying that Tiffany Limos is playing in it then you know that it will contain nudity. Larry is best known for Ken Park, his most popular flick due the fact that a kid goes lickety-split with his friend's mother. Teenage caveman was made the same year as Ken Park but was made for television.But if you see the cover of Ken Park then you know what you will have but seeing the cover of Teenage Caveman you think you will have a creature feature. Wrong. It contains a lot of nudity and has a bit of horror in it. To see the horror be sure to have the full uncut because otherwise you will miss the decapitation and other bloody shots. You can see that the bloody scene's were taken from a VHS and edited back in again, it's a whole other quality.The actors in this sexploitation are mostly unknown except for Andrew Keegan and Tara Subkoff. The others had their 15 minutes of fame around 2002 and most of them stopped being in the business around 2005-2006. One of the actors (Richard Hillman) even died in 2009. It is really a cheesy flick because the 'monster' only appears in the last 10 minutes. But it all looks so ridiculous. The nudity is so gratuitous and all girls do show their wobbling juggs and they are all the real stuff, no fake tits here! The whole story is just a drivel, but naturally if you liked Ken Park and want to see another Larry Clark then you surely must watch it.Gore 2/5 Nudity 3/5 Effects 2/5 Story 2/5 Comedy 1/5

I'm going to make this review short. Why? Well, this film deserves a short and to the point review. To be honest I'm only writing this because the reviews were so horrible...and I felt it should be represented a little better.Firstly, this film is definitely low budget. Regardless I did happen to find the scenery quite...well...nice. For what they were working with I felt they did a nice job. The kids are pretty, well most of them, and the special effects were limited to what they could do with the budget they had. At least there's no cheesy effects is what I'm saying.Secondly, I felt the plot was a fun exciting idea. Post-apocalyptic world where tribes of men live together in caves, teens wondering what used to be, wanting something else. Complete teen angst, we can all identify. It's fun. These "caveteens" that get away from the tribe and find technology, drugs, alcohol, sex...the things we love and take for granted.Thirdly, the way these teens react is just hilarious. Hideously overacted, yes, but I don't think this film is taking itself too seriously in the first place. Lots of taut young female bodies, and (even though I'm not a fan) some hot young male sexy time.Fourthly (fourthly? i don't think that's a word...) This turned out not to be so short. They bring in a subject that is indeed a valid subject in the real world. Genetic research! In a world destroyed by technology it is technologies child that lives. They have created a race of people that live forever, are stronger, faster, smarter, and all around a better person. Granted they're completely insane but still...it's a scientists wet dream.In summation I thought this film was extremely fun, and I watch it whenever I get the chance. Have I run out and purchased said DVD...well no...but still, if you just accept the silly acting and concept...it's really an amusing and fun film. It has aspects of suspense, horror, comedy, and all around teenage tomfoolery! I'd say watch it and just enjoy it. Don't take yourself more serious than the film.

We get it Larry. Anything else? No? Goodnight everybody. Wait. Yes, it's just another Larry Clark movie, but this one has something new, bad effects. We can add that to the pretension, lazy and boring nudity, duh morals, and hordes of bad actors. Tiffany Limos, whose elevator probably gets caught on her breasts, is the latest bubble head. At least the girls in Larry's other movies were decent actors, but this one seems overwhelmed by it all. Boy, taking off your clothes for money must be mentally taxing. What upsets me about Larry is that he obviously just wants to make some exploitation movies with lots of naked woman, but he has to make everything so damn serious, this time it is aliens and what happens when you disobey your elders, and cast actors like Dickman, or whatever his name is, that are so annoying you want to beat their head against your television. At least Kids and Bully were grimy, although too much so, but you could stay awake until the next rape or murder, Teenage Caveman will have you bored to death long before any of the vacuous Kens and Barbies have sexploded.

Minor spoilers. Loosely based on the 1958 Roger Corman barring the same name, this disaster takes place In a post-apocalyptic future, where a group of teens leave their clan and find a young couple who take them in. Everything is fine at first, until people begin mutating or dying. What is this strange couple hiding? Yikes, this film was painful to sit through. The acting was decent enough, there were some nice, unexpected gore scenes (exploding bodies, heads ripped off, and more!), the film looked great visually (striking cinematography), and the creature/make-up effects were quite cool (They were done by Stan Winston studios though so that's a given). However, the dialogue is banal and the film doesn't feel as much like a horror movie as it does a sleazy excuse to show unnecessary male and female nudity. A real shame, because had the script been reworked and had the producers hired a different director, this could have been a worthwhile effort. As it stands, it's a piece of crap. 1/10.