The Crippled Masters
The Crippled Masters
R | 16 July 1982 (USA)
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Two men, one a lowly peon and the other a dutiful nobleman, are betrayed by their master and crippled for life-- One left with no arms and the other with paralyzed legs. Despite their obvious disadvantages, they strive to seek revenge against their evil master. The two men endeavor to track down the fabled Eight Jade Horses, said to hold the key to special martial arts techniques.

Reviews
Lawbolisted

Powerful

Lucybespro

It is a performances centric movie

FuzzyTagz

If the ambition is to provide two hours of instantly forgettable, popcorn-munching escapism, it succeeds.

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Nayan Gough

A great movie, one of the best of this year. There was a bit of confusion at one point in the plot, but nothing serious.

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CelluloidRehab

The movie flies out of the starting gate with the punishment of Lee Ho. We do not know his crime, just that his arms have to go. You heard correctly. They chop off both his arms. As further humiliation and disgrace, they throw his bleeding, armless body into the dusty street. Minutes after his loss, Lee Ho stumbles through the streets, where his bleeding and armless body is mistaken for a beggar. He offers a man a little money to let him eat, for the promise of double pay the next time (think J. Wellington Wimpy type). He never actually gets to eat anything but is nearly beaten to death. He gets thrown out with the trash and dead bodies, ending up being rescued by the undertaker. He is then discovered by Black and White (henchman of Nin Li Kong, a.k.a. the Master, pronounced Ninja Kong) and is beaten again. After nearly drowning, feeding on some leftover rice and pig feed, Lee finds some purpose. We see Lee performing lots of chores, games and even fighting skills. This is very inspirational stuff.Ninja Kong (a.k.a - the Master) continues the carnage by taking out the man responsible for dishing out the punishment to Lee. He pours acid over his legs, beats him up and then throws him thrown off a cliff. Ninja Kong seems like he might be Triad. He is constantly trying to strong arm people. He has a scar under his left arm and a playboy mustache. The legless one manages to crawl away but kismet intervenes and instead he meets up with Lee. Lee is obviously angry and pounds on the "leg-less" master.In the middle of this fight, a wise-old man pops out of a basket. He does this a few times during the movie. He teaches Lee to forgive and unite. United they can exorcise their revenge on the person responsible for everything : Ninja Kong. We next see the traditional "training" sequences. We see all the deeds these two "crippled" masters can pull off. This is some more inspirational stuff. There is also something about the 8 Jade Horses that people are after, but I lost track of things after a while. The ending is a bit predictable and a final conflict between protagonists and antagonist is quite obvious. The methodology is the surprise. It must be seen to be believed. There is also a great first person perspective of getting our butts handed to us. This movie feels like it could have been used as communist manifesto. I can very easily imagine seeing this movie at a Saturday night "party meeting". What this movie does have is the guaranteed pick-me up. No matter how sick, angry, down or depressed you are, watching this movie will guarantee you will feel more content with your own situation. Who knew contentment could be had for a one time fee of $5 from your local DVD merchant?-Celluloid Rehab

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salukininer

This movie is amazing. The awesome fight scenes with the edited sounds on contact are almost enough. But there's more. See this movie. We had never laughed so hard watching a movie. Not for the most sympathetic of people. If you are not P.C. and enjoy Kung Fu flicks this will be on your shelf in no time. The fact that these 2 guys can fight to avenge their disabilities is incredible. These are real actors with legitimate disabilities. When they fight together they are a formidable duo and incite nonstop laughter. Lots of humor to be had and good life lessons as well. Teamwork is good. Always listen to the master in the basket. Crippled Masters is a masterpiece in that it will amaze you and leave you in stitches.

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broaf

People dis on this movie, but let me tell you something: If you see one movie, EVER, let it be this. If I had 50b thumbs, every last one of them would be up. I mean how can you go wrong with a line like, "Funny... most people sleep in beds, but I... I sleep in steamer baskets."Enough said.

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MisterWhiplash

This film is so incredibly stupid and corny, it has to be considered as one of the funniest action films ever made. The plot is serious so it shows it isn't a joke- 2 fighters for a boss get duapelegiac (only 2 legs and 2 arms between the 2 of them) by they're employer, so they strengthen up to get revenge. Possibly the weirdest film to be generated, but it is actually a comedy in my mind. The sound effects and editing looks like something that came from King Gimp, the fights are faker than the Ninja Turtles fighting and the dubbing makes Godzilla look like Das Boot (to many similies you might say). But it is done so badly well, Ed Wood Jr. would find this better than his Plan 9 from outer space. Creative in a way actually parodied earlier by the Zaz comedy team. A

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