Far from Perfect, Far from Terrible

Charming and brutal

It's fun, it's light, [but] it has a hard time when its tries to get heavy.

Mostly, the movie is committed to the value of a good time.

Steve Irwin, The Crocodile Hunter, and his wife Terri work to save the animals of the Australian outback. An US satellite beacon has fallen out of the sky and landed in Australia. It gets swallowed by a crocodile. CIA agents are sent to retrieve it. American agent Jo Buckley is also sent to get the beacon to use in inter-agency politics. Cattle station owner Brozzie Drewitt is also looking the kill the croc on her lands. Australian Government Fisheries worker Sam Flynn tries to relocate the croc by hiring the Irwins before Brozzie shoots it.Steve Irwin has an infectious charm. His act is great. There is a natural magnetism about him. Sadly, this movie decides to tie him to this silly international spy stuff. Then the movie adds the terribly broad Magda Szubanski. The whole thing is schizophrenic. I'm perfectly happy to watch Steve wrestle a crocodile. Somebody needs to make a good movie around him. This is not that movie.

SE's 2020 Data Recorder from a satellite that exploded in space (inside a metal beacon) heads towards Earth. Landing in Northern Queensland, of Australia, two CIA agents are sent to retrieve it. Meanwhile Steve Irwin (May he rest in peace) takes the time to talk with us about various creatures in Australia (crocs, snakes, kangaroos, spiders, etc.). Collision Course was criticized for the imbalance that exists in terms of the beacon's recovery and Irwin's Crocodile Hunter television show host presentation. While Irwin's show was of definite interest to me (and popular with viewers on Animal Planet) during its run prior to his unfortunate death, whether or not it is worth a cinematic film with an ongoing story arc surrounding him is up for debate. Included with the CIA agents and the Aussie local assigned to assist them on the hunt for a beacon is a disgruntled local farmer, enraged with crocs eating her cattle and remaining close to her land (the wildlife/fisheries expert tries to encourage her to stop being so difficult and allow him to relocate the croc(s) in the vicinity, but she isn't interested). Irwin and his wife, Terri, are the ones called to relocate the croc elsewhere.Irwin's infectious enthusiasm is appealing/endearing, and his wife, the "straight man" to his act, offers some information herself, confirming to us that they were a wonderful team. Rozzie, the farmer hunting the croc, is used as comic relief mostly, while the agents on trail of the beacon are a boring lot (this subplot has little inspiration to it). The beacon is located in the belly of a croc, and so the story lines might eventually converge. Irwin's addressing the camera at all times, even when action involves the agents (eventually the Aussie female agent turns on them, wanting to retrieve the beacon herself), could be considered ill-advised (to be cinematic, you'd think those involved would want to shy away from resembling the television show too much). Irwin, action hero, is a bit odd, especially when looking at the camera while a chase scene happens, or disallowing and preventing violence towards the croc (it eventually craps out the beacon) by using a snake and rope to stop them.I think fans of Irwin can get the goods shown in the film on his show (plus more), in reruns or renting them, with Collision Course taking highlights and implanting them within a blah story that services only as a diversion from what most care about…Irwin's interaction with species and his knowledge about them shared with us. Standing on top of his jeep and fending off an agent seems surreal, particularly when Irwin tells us that these blokes are really dangerous and could be poachers wanting the croc they are transporting to a safer environment (a different river on the other side of a mountain). Probably the best part of the film is Irwin and Terri securing a dangerously aggressive (and seriously angry) croc; it's a real large croc, too, and the capture/roping process looks positively scary and exhausting. I think what this film does is remind us of what the world has lost: a man who joyfully presented his love of creatures great and small, and did so with an aplomb and care for all life that continues to live on even if he himself has sadly been taken from us.

This movie certain is strange. It is like one of Steve Irwin's usual episodes except a plot is thrown in. Sometimes you don't know whether a scene is real or whether it is fake. The message the movie provides is good though. Its message is that humans interfere with nature by leaving behind rubbish and poaching animals. Irwin has a Keynesian approach to environmentalism. He gets in and really interferes with nature but it's supposedly for the good of the animals themselves. With Irwin dead now it's disappointing for the animals if his efforts were actually beneficial. Irwin's career made him many millions of dollars and instead of doing what other multi-millionaires do like buying a sports car (he drives an old-looking Landcruiser) he put that money into buying land so that developers and poachers can't touch the animals. This practical and pragmatic approach is a fresh change to the usual all-talk-no-action that characterizes most academic environmentalists nowadays. But like I said, with Irwin gone, it's not looking good.

Only in America can a moron like Steve Irwin be a "star".I long for the days when people like Danny Kaye, Audrey Hepburn and Betty Davis ruled the house. Those people were stars.Nowadays, someone like Paris Hilton, bimbo that she is, is considered a star for Petes Sake. So, it should come as no surprise that an idiot like Steve Irwin is considered a "star" in America. It simply takes no talent to be a celebrity anymore. It's all about over the top persona's. If you happen to have one of those, and especially if you have a sex tape floating around on the internet, then somewhere there is a camera looking for you, a contract waiting to be signed and an entourage of groupies waiting to follow you around like dogs in heat. Sheesh!Thankfully, this movie tanked. There must be a God after all!