Just so...so bad

Excellent, a Must See

Each character in this movie — down to the smallest one — is an individual rather than a type, prone to spontaneous changes of mood and sometimes amusing outbursts of pettiness or ill humor.

Great story, amazing characters, superb action, enthralling cinematography. Yes, this is something I am glad I spent money on.

What a pleasure to see this boy playing ! So adorable !

Since I'm now one of roughly five persons who have seen this film in the last 20 years, I feel it my duty as both an American and world citizen to state that for approximately one hour and thirty-eight minutes I was subjected to audiovisual rape. It has been less than an hour since then and my mind is already employing defensive mechanisms to make me forget the details of the event, something made easier by the movie being incredibly forgettable.Unfortunately the perpetrator of that event was Gary Coleman, and this I cannot forget.The movie's plot is simple: D.C. Collins constantly daydreams because his dad works at the United Nations and the UN is boring. He is educated alongside fellow sons and daughters of UN officials, including Tatyana (a Soviet citizen whom he has a crush on) and Cromwell (his British arch-nemesis and stereotypical bully.) Through a series of completely unfunny and uninteresting events he unwittingly ends up in possession of a top-secret disc/tape doohickey which will be used to initiate nuclear war if allowed to fall into the wrong hands.Collins has the lamentable affliction of looking, talking, and even behaving exactly like Garry Coleman. In other words Collins is very annoying and Coleman cannot act.Collins was endowed by his Creator with the power to daydream in any situation, even when he's being chased by henchmen. He uses these daydreams for no real purpose except to delay the movie's ending as much as possible. "Oh my god," I said in disbelief as yet another pointless sequence began.Cromwell spends the majority of the movie giving accurate assessments of how lame Collins is. In fact, Collins is so lame that he inserts Cromwell into his own daydreams only to have him continue making valid points and ruining Collins' delusions. Collins eventually challenges Cromwell to a fistfight on school grounds. Seeing as how Collins hadn't actually developed as a character throughout the whole hour leading up to this scene, I was eagerly expecting Cromwell to deliver punishing blows that would force Collins/Coleman out of the remaining 30 minutes.Luckily for Collins the bad script comes to the rescue. After a daydream involving Collins fantasizing about shooting Cromwell in an Old West duel, he hypocritically argues that fighting is dumb and that Cromwell is too "insignificant" to bother with anyway. Even though anyone else would see this as a simultaneous plea for mercy and an ill-timed insult against the person capable of beating them senseless, Cromwell is somehow moved by Collins' words and actually ends up becoming his ally, something that might be considered the most disappointing moment in film history.I could elaborate on the movie's main plot (the whole "save the world from nuclear war" thing) but it's really boring so I won't. Needless to say Collins indeed saves everything and Tatyana is amused by his chronic reliance on daydreaming and creepy fantasies involving her. The film ends with another daydreaming sequence as I collapsed onto the floor in utter defeat, confident that I had just finished watching one of the least entertaining movies ever made.Not one human being emerges unscathed from this film. The quality of acting ranges from "stupid fake accent negates any effort or talent" to "major war criminal," the first reserved for Pamela Adlon and Jason Bateman and the last reserved for Gary Coleman.Only one actor truly stood out and never disappointed me: Bad Special Effect as the Brain Sucker. Beaming an annoying ray of cheap SFX onto Coleman's head during one of his daydreams, it came closer than anyone else in this movie to causing his demise while never once opening its mouth, making it by default the greatest actor and most likable character in probably any film that has starred Gary Coleman.

DC Collins is both a prime document of the waning years of the cold war, and a blistering exposition of the actor's craft from Gary Coleman. Coleman scored big with 'On The Right Track', the popular 'Kid' series of TV movies, and also this fantasy/espionage thriller. There's a tender poignancy haunting DC's on screen relationship with Tatyana. Consider the divergent paths: Adlon and Coleman. It's as if the ensuing collapse of the Soviets v the USA were juxtaposed in reverse with the resultant careers of either actor.Finally, one cannot help but regret Gary's absence from subsequent projects like this. Why is it that audiences are expected to remain starved in the dearth of available material? Reappraise, reissue, distribute.