Dreadfully Boring

It's an amazing and heartbreaking story.

The film's masterful storytelling did its job. The message was clear. No need to overdo.

The thing I enjoyed most about the film is the fact that it doesn't shy away from being a super-sized-cliche;

I watched this movie at a pool party at my stepmother's place. She rented it from red box earlier in the day and let us watch it in the pool.Much of the action is live. Ron Perlman's character is a sleaze like usual. I noticed how much I despised his character. He reminds me so much of my king. My king is very cruel and unwise; slow to take a hint. I love the ending when Ron Perlman is pretty much just getting fisted by our heroes.My step mother asked me if I liked the movie. I said, "Very much. Thank you." I got out of the pool and dried off.

When Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson took the role as the Scorpion King in Stephen Sommers' The Mummy Returns (2001), it's hard to say whether viewers thought a series would continue this far. The first film wasn't cinematic gold, but it had charm for varying instances. The sequel prequel that came after it though was a step down from it. Not only was it boring but the story line didn't feel believable. Plus new characters were introduced that would not return in the films chronology. There was no point in it. As for continuing it, if the film makes money, of course make more entries. As much as a mess the last film was, the producers were smart enough to release it in the home video market. If this was released theatrically, these films would be doing a lot worse financially. For this third film in the series the quality to this has slightly improved but still has its problems. Thankfully of all things, this installment is not another prequel. Otherwise this time line would be all screwed up.Although it has 3 in its title, this is a sequel to the first Scorpion King (2002). After the decimation of his people and his wife from a mysterious plague, the Scorpion King (Victor Webster) goes back to his roots as a mercenary. On his travels, he is hired by King Horus (Ron Perlman) to infiltrate and stop his jealous brother Talus (Billy Zane) from invading his territory. Talus' wants to conquer Horus' land with the book of the dead. He can only do this by taking over Ramusan's (Temuera Morrison) land, while holding his daughter Silda (Krystal Vee) hostage. Teaming up with the Scorpion King is Olaf (Bostin Christopher) who was also sent by Horus for no other reason than he fights well. Written by Shane Kuhn and Brendan Cowles, the script is still fairly senseless but does manage to build on past stories than deconstruct them. For one thing, the continuity is explained as to what happened to the Scorpion King's wife and the people that followed him. It's not very specific but it is mentioned so that's a plus.Roel Reiné was the director for this feature and how its handled is also a tad better. Instead of slowly moving from one task to the next, different situations ensue. Both Cowles and Kuhn have worked before with Reiné on other projects together so perhaps this is why the story has better flow. Roel Reiné has directed many other sequels like Death Race 2 (2010), The Man With the Iron Fists 2 (2015) and Hard Target 2 (2016). However even with forgivable continuity, the screenplay goes on to fail in other spots. One of the biggest flaws are various physical impossibilities. Some of it really just doesn't make any sense. A character's ear is ripped off by someone's hand. How is somebody that strong? Another character gets severely injured but has no problems later on. Nobody can heal that fast. Another problem is the acting of characters. Bostin Christopher as Olaf had some moments of comedic value but all he does it make the film feel like a bad buddy film. His dialog is also too contemporary for ancient times.As for acting, Billy Zane chews the scenery every time he's on screen. As a villain, he comes off more as a parody to an antagonist than an actual threat. Sometimes this is funny but overall it feels out of place. Ron Perlman and Temuera Morrison are both underplayed and are not that interesting. Thankfully Victor Webster as the new Scorpion King tries to make his role his own. Not every line he says comes off forced but occasionally it doesn't sound right. For one thing, he at least looks similar to Dwayne Johnson. Krystal Vee as the daughter Ramusan is okay in her performance. She too has more personality than most and has sufficient chemistry with Webster. As for her development, its overused plot threads but at least its identifiable. There's also appearances from Dave Bautista, Kevin 'Kimbo Slice' Ferguson and Selina Lo as spirits to the book of the dead. They however have very little development. The original story writer was Randall McCormick who did the last film.The action sequences to the film were well staged although they had one drawback. That being that in almost every scene that involved action, had multiple slow motion shots. This happened frequently and it felt like in some ways, the film was just buying time. It looks good, but too much of it loses the spectacle. Working as cinematographer was also Roel Reiné. For a while the setting was in the desert but it quickly shifts to jungle brush. This is okay but it's a bit disorienting. Nevertheless the picture looks good in its display. Very little of it seems fake except for a few shots. Roel Reiné has done almost as much cinematography as he's done his own projects. The music was composed by Trevor Morris. Another Roel Reiné collaborator, Morris has done more TV scores than theatrical films however the sound is decent considering it being a DVD release. However it is odd that no official score was released when every other Scorpion film in this series has one. Really weird.While it may be somewhat better than the film before it, it's not by a large amount. Victor Webster as the new Scorpion King is a suitable replacement. However much of the other actors involved seem less invested. The script tries to build on the first film but retreads familiar territory.

Mathayus (Victor Webster), the Scorpion King, has lost his sorceress-queen and his kingdom. He returns to live out the rest of his life as a mercenary. He is hired by King Horus (Ron Perlman) to stop his brother Talus (Billy Zane) from stealing the Book of the Dead and taking over the throne. He is paired up with Germania warrior Olaf. They travel to the Far East kingdom ruled by Horus' ally Ramusan who guards the book. Tallus has kidnapped Ramusan's daughter Silda. The kingdom is facing a revolt by the mysterious Cobra. With no gold in reserve, Ramusan offers her hand in marriage in exchange for her rescue. Mathayus discovers hidden secrets and conflicting schemes while looking for a medallion.The writing is a mess. The acting is generally bad. The production is a mixture of bad and wow, they have elephants! The action is chaotic but at least, there is lots of it. There are plenty of extras. And did I mention the elephants? This is strictly B-movie time here. Even the action gets tiresome after awhile.

What a pity Dwayne Johnson didn't want (presumably) to be the Scorpion King any more - especially after receiving the biggest payday in history for a debut performance in Scorpion King. His replacement, Victor Webster, might appeal to some girls as a "pretty boy" but he sure ain't no Rock!The casting for this movie could have been a lot better and, in turn, have perhaps improved the final result considerably. Krystal Vee as Silda was OK but, being virtually unknown and Thai, didn't help things much. Lucy Lawless would have been better (and, of course, if the producers could have afforded her, so would Angelina Jolie!). This brings up an interesting hypothesis. Would a big-name cast of appropriate actors have made this movie into a worthwhile enterprise? That is to say, was the script all that bad or was it the way it was directed and delivered? Maybe a bit of both. However, it does bring up the question; is it worth penny-pinching when making a big-screen epic-type movie or would it have been worth going into a bit more hock and casting it right in the first place?Billy Zane was bearable as Talus but, all the time he was on screen, I imagined Alan Rickman in the role - it was made for him! Furthermore, is Ron Perlman really right to play a king - albeit a barbarian type fellow? And Selina Lo was just not right at all as the undead witch. Tem Morrison (the only other reasonably well-known actor) was in his element but seemed somewhat uncomfortable in the role - which left me wondering why. Was it a failure to communicate with the director?Another reviewer has already commented on the "mish-mash" of different cultures all coming together in this movie and I have to agree. Where and when was it actually set? The info tells us that the setting was ancient Egypt but, if that's the case, why was the star referred to as an Acadian - a definition that didn't even exist until the 17th century in eastern Canada? And why are there Japanese ninjas, a Scandinavian mercenary and what seemed like Persian warriors all in on the act? And, finally, what on earth were Matayus and Talus doing with optical telescopes which weren't even invented until some thousands of years after this action took place?Sorry Roel Reiné, you should have done a lot more homework before calling "Action"! You have left us with too many questions!