Simply Perfect

A terrific literary drama and character piece that shows how the process of creating art can be seen differently by those doing it and those looking at it from the outside.

The acting in this movie is really good.

It's the kind of movie you'll want to see a second time with someone who hasn't seen it yet, to remember what it was like to watch it for the first time.

Yes, "What to Do on a Date" is the typical "educational" short made during the oh-so-innocent 1950s (which of course means that everyone is a bunch of wholesome white people). In this case, a geek can't figure out how to ask a girl on a date and needs guidance. Quite frankly, anyone who takes this movie as guidance will probably have a lot of trouble on a date.Has this film no redeeming qualities? Far from it. "Mystery Science Theater 3000" showed it, and the Satellite of Love viewers had lots of fun tearing it apart. Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank may try to torture Mike/Joel and the 'bots by showing them this swill, but they're no match for the jeers and heckling.

'What to Do On a Date' is a title to probably make you smile already. I can assure you, everything in it will bring a smile to your face as well. But it is not the smile a film wants. Here you do not smile because the guy actually gets the date with the girl he likes, the way it is supposed to be, but because it is so stupid.We see a shy teenager asking a girl on a date after his friend has persuaded him. The girl agrees and while they are on their first date (together with at least ten other friends) the guy wonders what the girl would like for a next date. Funny stuff. The acting in terrible films like this is quite hilarious as well. Although I rate it poorly, I had fun watching it. For the wrong reasons that is.

The following is more of a summary of the movie than a review:In "What To Do On A Date," Nick, a lovesick dork who sounds perpetually constipated, wants to go on a date with Kay, whose status as a member of the fairer sex is confirmed when she needs Nick's manly help to nail a paper elephant to a rafter. Nick calls up Kay, and asks her if she wants to go see a movie on Friday night. But Kay knows that in the darkness of the movie theater, Nick might put his arm around her shoulder or hold her hand, and that would cause their swell little fifties white suburban world to implode, so she rejects him. Fortunately, our flustered hero has some help from his smooth best friend Jeff and a fifty-year-old's Authoritative Disembodied Voice, who clearly knows what all the teenagers are into. They suggest all sorts of sanitized dating ideas for Nick and Kay, most of which involve doing things in a group so the teens can frustrate themselves trying to suppress their hormonal urges. Nick and Kay talk about various dull, non-sexual dating scenarios and Nick discovers a great pick-up line in the process: "Say, you like to do lots of things, don't ya?" Nick asks Kay if she'd like to go for a bike ride or a weenie roast or a bowling party or a baseball game or a taffy pull next Friday, and here we reach the climax of the movie: will Kay go on a second date with Nick, or will she dump him for somebody who's not such a loser, or will she spend Friday night listening to the Authoritative Disembodied Voice tell her about the importance of home economics? Will Nick continue to have a bland and asexual relationship with Kay, or will he find true friendship and companionship with Jeff, or will he become celibate and devote his life to nailing paper elephants into rafters?But still, the fact that a socially inept loser like Nick can get a girl to go to the community center to set up a garage sale on a first date should give the rest of us hope.

Man, if only I could have dated a hip, cool dude like that gawky teen! Think of the fun we miss these days... weenie roasts, bike rides, and tacking paper elephants to ceilings. This "how-to" film really sets the tone for squeaky clean fun. I just wish they'd made a sequel... "What To Do on Your Second Date"