Thanks for the memories!

I wanted to like it more than I actually did... But much of the humor totally escaped me and I walked out only mildly impressed.

One of the worst ways to make a cult movie is to set out to make a cult movie.

It is a whirlwind of delight --- attractive actors, stunning couture, spectacular sets and outrageous parties. It's a feast for the eyes. But what really makes this dramedy work is the acting.

Mutant alligator--30-40 feet in length--was once flushed down the toilet as a baby, and for the last 12 years has been surviving in the Missouri sewers on the discarded pet carcasses from a pharmaceutical laboratory injecting their animal subjects with an experimental synthetic form of testosterone. Homicide detective Robert Forster, besieged with unanswerable questions from the media after severed limbs begin popping up in the water canals, investigates. Half black-humored thriller in the wake of "Jaws", scored with what appears to be a "Jaws" parody soundtrack (or it could be an homage, though it's most likely just a rip-off). Forster gives a seasoned, well-rounded performance, though I'm not sure his dramatic weight and conviction is what screenwriter John Sayles had in mind here. Is the movie just a quickie product made to cash-in on the 'freakish animal' fad or a project taken seriously by those involved? Certainly Sayles' environmental message is meant to give us pause--and Forster's burnt-out detective is an instantly identifiable characterization--but all this in the service of a picture about a hungry alligator on a feeding frenzy? *1/2 from ****

A baby alligator is flushed down a Chicago toilet and survives by eating discarded laboratory rats injected with growth hormones. The small reptile grows gigantic, escapes the city sewers, and goes on a rampage.Although the film gives the location as Chicago, the police vehicles in the film appear to have Missouri license plates. When the young Marisa returns home with her family from their vacation in Florida, they pass a sign that reads "Welcome to Missouri." Later, the voice of a newscaster identifies Marisa as "a native of our city," implying the location is a city in Missouri other than St. Louis. Script error, maybe? So, maybe this was a "Jaws" ripoff and maybe Ebert thinks it is only a 1 out of 4, but sometimes (though not often) Ebert is wrong. There was much more going on here, and just making the "alligator flushed" story actually make sense was well played.

I don't have to share it with anyone if I don't want to. Alligator is such a funny, poke-you-in-the-eye sort of horror flick that only the most deathly serious among us wouldn't get a chuckle from it. I remember, more than anything else, the relentless teasing that Robert Forster gets for his bad haircut. Really, haircut jokes? In a story about an alligator that gets flushed down the toi-toi and gets loaded up on growth hormones until, well, you get the picture.I saw Alligator on ABC shortly after it left its theatrical distribution with, probably, not a cent to its name. Yet, when I got to see it in VHS, I jumped at the chance. I honestly don't know if I'd jump again, but I have great affection for this cheap, fun drive-in fare.

RELEASED IN 1980 and directed by Lewis Teague, "Alligator" chronicles events in Chicago after a baby alligator is flushed down the toilet and mutates to great size from eating chemically contaminated dog carcasses in the sewers. A policeman (Robert Forster) and a beautiful reptile expert (Robin Riker) team-up to track down the beast when it escapes the sewers and preys on citizens."Alligator" is kind of boring for the first half hour or so, but the last hour perks up and generally keeps your attention. Unlike "Jaws" (1975), which is completely serious and scary, most adults won't take "Alligator" too seriously or find it remotely scary. In fact, I busted out laughing numerous times when the creature would attack people. Speaking of which, you'll sometimes hear Jaws-imitation suspense music as the creature approaches its prey. Some viewers understandably compare "Alligator" to another "Jaws" rip-off flick, "Piranha" (1978), but that movie's all-around more entertaining.What makes "Alligator" mandatory is the awe-inspiring Robin Riker, who doesn't appear until half an hour into the story. From thereon she's featured prominently. Robin was 28 during shooting but possesses such a mature and classy air that she seems at least 35. While I'm on the subject, watch out for the blonde reporter in a red jacket and jeans at about the halfway point (43 minutes). Like Robin, she has an exquisite buttocks sculptured by God Himself. There are also some highlights that you won't likely see in pictures nowadays. For instance, a kid gets chewed up in a suburban pool. And a "great white hunter" (Henry Silva) amusingly corrals three black dudes in the urban jungle to assist him in his hunt. Of course this wouldn't be "politically correct" today.THE MOVIE RUNS 87 minutes and was shot in Los Angeles and the Los Angeles River. WRITER: John Sayles.GRADE: B-