Simply Perfect

I'll tell you why so serious

Not sure how, but this is easily one of the best movies all summer. Multiple levels of funny, never takes itself seriously, super colorful, and creative.

The biggest problem with this movie is it’s a little better than you think it might be, which somehow makes it worse. As in, it takes itself a bit too seriously, which makes most of the movie feel kind of dull.

Lavender has a fairly interesting, though not entirely unique premise. While it tries to create an eerie atmosphere and engaging story, it just kind of misses the mark. Nothing is particularly terrible about it. The story resolves neatly and there are a few effective scary moments. It's just not very memorable. I personally didn't find the acting very impressive and just felt bored at moments. The reveal at the end was unexpected, but not all that satisfying. If you're considering checking out the movie, it's worth a casual watch.

Starts off with a gory crime scene at a farmhouse, Father, Mother & Sister killed with a young Jane found huddled in a corner with a bloody switchblade. The Uncle is the next of kin, lives nearby and gets called to the scene, however the kid is given up for foster homes(we learn later) and jumpcut to 25 years later when she has a husband and a daughter, with zero recollection of the events. An automobile accident juggles up her loosened screws and she starts remembering bits and pieces of her past life in weird riddle pieces. Sounds promising, right? Well, you'll not be the first to get fooled. 1. Absolutely the first thing you'd notice annoyed is the background score. Pretentious classical music played loud all along, dun-dun-Duns five seconds ahead of when you're supposed to be scared. You can play on your tablet while this movie rolls on your tv, look up when the music pokes up "hey hey look! Somethings about to happppen!" and you can get adequately miffed. Don't worry, you're not missing much. 2. The vapid and annoying Abbie Cornish and her Covet Fashions wardrobe and makeup. Which survive a) a car accident involving four to five roundabouts oft he said car b) irritatingly confusing multiple ghostly figures trying their hands at dumbcharade in the middle of the night attempting to pass off important information about her past c) several near death experiences of her daughter. Her stylists in the movie must be gaining on those Covet levels hard. There are designated impeccable "toppling inside a car look","discovering her traumatic past look", "pretty on the stairs while daughter chokes to death look", "pretty on the bed while ghost sister chokes to death look". Loads of denim. Cool heels. I wanted a few for myself, the runway looks were so good. You almost wait for the label name to popup anytime. Added level bonus: Cornish' "It's Sunday, why did you wake me up at 4 in the morning!' look. Delightful. especially in the scene where her daughter's having an asthma attack and her husband is trying to save her. 5.80 points where she stands by the railing posing. 3. I learned that ghost love painstakingly wrapping cute gifts for the demented. Nice red ribbons, cute little boxes to deliver riddle pieces at her doorstep. That talent could be exploited in Christmas times, just saying. 4. Sooo...we learn the Uncle basically killed off the family with Jane being a witness to the crime as also to the abuse he'd resort to on the kids. He left the house after the mass murder mistakenly thinking Jane to be dead, who was later found by the police shaken and traumatised. However, Uncle makes no attempt at keeping the kid under his roof (he admits to an older Jane that he was not very adept at raising kids) which would minimise the chance that she'd regain her memory and expose his crime to the world. Not a very intelligent man, he. 5. Jane's psychiatrist is a figment of her imagination. Which you guess as soon as the doctor awkwardly loiters around while she opens one of her dubious giftboxes. No doctor has that kind of time for his patients. 6. No context or explanations of any action by the characters. Why pray they moved to that old farmhouse right away? What about their home, did they rent it/sold it/gave it away in case she remembered some hidden treasures buried in the garden of the farmhouse? Does the kid go to school? Anywhere? Is this some extreme case of reverse germophobia where they just move into a dilapidated farmhouse locked up for 25 years and don't even change the bedsheets? Was the Uncle paying its electricity bill for the past 25 years? Good man. 6. That ending, My God. What exactly was the Uncle trying to do running away with the kid under one arm and shooting at the father with another? Leaving behind his house, barn, all those poor cows? Did he plan on the spot to run away on foot with the clothes on his back and the kid tucked under to a goodlife somewhere else while the Mom and Dad sit in their car and talk about the next Milan show? They should've tied his hands backwards.All in all, a film where all the characters are so vapid and uninterested that you don't feel sympathetic for the protagonists, villain or the ghosts and wish they could somehow have this final epic battle scene where everybody kills everybody off. You could nap in the sofa till then, the music will wake you up. With that final shot of Abbie Cornish lying dead in a Jovani Navy Mermaid Ball Gown($3500) and her dead fish stare. But here, it'll fit.

I've seen worse movies. I actually appreciated how artistically appealing this movie was. People are complaining that this movie wasn't interesting enough, but you have to realize that the top grossing movies in the world are fast and the furious and transformer franchises, so i wish there was some context in their reviews. I personally felt that this movie could have been better, but It definitely didn't deserve a 1 star rating.

When even the soundtrack in the movie annoys you, it is clear something is horribly wrong. It seems everyone involved in the movie was trying to create something, which failed in every possible area. Characters - boring and un-relatable. Couldn't care less what happens to them. Acting - looking "profoundly" sad all the time does not constitute dramatic acting... Story - I was praying to god (just an expression) that it will not be a banal story about ghosts. I really thought it is possible there will be an interesting twist, but noooo...freakin' ghosts. Oh, and while we are speaking about twists - the cheap "Six Sense" twist "revealing" (like I didn't see it all the way from 1999) that the psychologist was actually a ghost, was so laughable and unnecessary that I almost stopped watching right there. Soundtrack - unusual textures and ambiences, extended techniques on the violin and annoying "sliding" ultra low sounds for 99% of the movie were not only annoying, but simply like having a coffee with 12 spoons of sugar - bad taste. You can not shove "suspense" down the viewers throat all the time when there is no reason for it. It seemed the characters couldn't open the fridge door without the music suggesting "something terrible is going to happen".So yes, an absolute __________________(are you feeling the suspense?) waste of time.