Waste of Money.

Surprisingly incoherent and boring

Brilliant and touching

Am I Missing Something?

Ulrika (Brigitte Nielsen) wants to be president of anarchy torn Tajikistan. In order to do this she kidnaps the President's daughter (Tiffany Panhilason) and demands the president eliminate her competition and make her president. After a series of bad plot point explanations, the only people who can rescue the daughter are women, and the only women they can come up with are in prison. They managed to assemble a team of four mercs, creating a female Expendables grindhouse, that is still Asylum grade. The women are quickly introduced by their unlikely rap sheets. They are Cassandra Clay (stunt double Zoë Bell - Raze); Kat Morgan (Kristanna Loken - Blood Rayne); Raven (Vivica A. Fox- Kill Bill); and Mei-Lin Fong (Nicole Bilderback- Bring it On...Hey! Those Cheerleaders were tough!).Along the way they are aided by a Yuffie Kisaragi type character (Obscure FF VII reference). Things don't go according to plan. Blah, blah, blah...look for a sequel, because if Asylum made "Sharknado 2," quality films is not an issue.It is Asylum and this is a "B' list of Hollywood bad a** females. The dialogue is hokey by design as when Clay tells Lexi, they are "doing bad things to bad people." I missed an references to past films made by the actresses which would have been a plus to the dialogue. For some reason the action didn't grab me as much as it should have. The lack of character development subtracted from lines and scenes. Should have been better. They dropped the ball on this one. On the plus side, they didn't work for Eric Roberts.Might work as a cheap rental.Parental Guide: F-bomb. No sex or nudity.

The US President's daughter is kidnapped in Kazakhstan by Ulrika (Brigitte Nielsen) and her men. With rumored weakness for women, four are recruited from prison on a suicidal mission. Cassandra Clay (Zoë Bell), Kat Morgan (Kristanna Loken), and Raven (Vivica A. Fox) join explosive expert Mei-Lin Fong (Nicole Bilderback).These are B-action actresses in an F-level action movie. It's a female Expendables without any budget, or filmmaking abilities. The writing is horrible. It's cheap. Kazakhstan looks like a Mexican village backlot. Even the action is lackluster. ICBMs are not that small. This is all pretty hopeless.

I really think there should be a "0 stars" vote for occasions like this... movie (since other people are calling it that). Eventually it deserved my 1 star by giving me the sense that everybody can make movies. Obviously you do not need a plot that follows human nature, or some logic, or any sense at all as long as the good guys win and the bad guys die. Acting is not necessary. You are not even required to care enough to watch and see your creation afterward (it's alive!). After I submit this review I am going to call some friends and in two or three days I believe we can create "Mercenaries 2". After all, my homemade clips of my kids, family and friends contain more action, comedy and drama than this m-m-m... sorry, cannot call it that twice.

Definitely not in a movie theater. Paying money for rent is also a rip-off. Let's say you've downloaded it somehow or borrowed it from a friend or whatever.The best you can do to watch this thing and not feel much regret after is by skipping. Most movie, DVD, blue-ray players these days have this function, so use it. Skip every 5 seconds until you see something you might like, get disappointed and continue skipping. Any level of masochism in your character also helps getting to the end of this torture.I'd also recommend skipping the entire movie if wasn't for the cast. Some of the actresses deserve to be seen, I know, so you will get tempted. If you can't resist the urge use the method described above to avoid frustration.