Microwave Massacre
Microwave Massacre
NR | 31 August 1983 (USA)
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Construction worker Donald is having a hard time getting anything good to eat since his wife has decided to only cook gourmet foods. That and her constant harping causes him to snap, so he whacks her. Somewhere in the confusion he comes up with a new use for the microwave oven, and begins to eat much better. Soon he's experimenting with different recipes. And different meats.

Reviews
Acensbart

Excellent but underrated film

Curapedi

I cannot think of one single thing that I would change about this film. The acting is incomparable, the directing deft, and the writing poignantly brilliant.

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Kien Navarro

Exactly the movie you think it is, but not the movie you want it to be.

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Marva

It is an exhilarating, distressing, funny and profound film, with one of the more memorable film scores in years,

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Sam Panico

I love horrible movies. I always wonder, "What's my limit? How bad can it get to make me hate a movie?" The new barometer for bad has been found and it is Microwave Massacre.Donald (Jackie Vernon, a raunchy comedian who was also the voice of Frosty the Snowman, which still kind of blows my mind) works construction by day and has another job by night: dealing with his wife. She keeps cooking gourmet foods that all come out bad and he yearns for the bologna and cheese sandwiches that his co-workers are chowing down on. Then, his wife buys a gigantic microwave, which makes even worse meals.Our hero, such as he is, comes home and loses his temper about all the bad meals and ends up killing his wife. He doesn't remember any of it the next morning as he has a big hangover. He starts cutting up his wife's body and rolling it in foil. Once he accidentally eats some, he learns how delicious she is. And oh yeah, her head is still alive.Soon, he's sharing the meat with his friends and starts killing prostitutes to make more of his secret recipe. Of course, all this cooking leads to a heart attack. And a visit by his wife's sister, who he has to tie up and gag with bread.Of course, all good - or bad, this movie is Troma level bad - things must come to an end. Donald dies of a heart attack, the pacemaker in his chest canceled out by the microwave, which still has May's living head inside.The box art is amazing. That's the nicest thing I can say. Otherwise, it's a painful exercise in puerile humor and poor effects. Watch with caution.

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Zbigniew_Krycsiwiki

Marla Simon and her bouncy tits, proudly showcased in a couple of scenes, really gets fourth billing for that walk-on role, which lasts about four minutes of the film's run time. Not only that, but Major Electric actually receives a screen credit, and IMDb credit, as the microwave oven. Mmm Hmmmm.Pretty silly movie about a guy who kills his wife because she's a bad cook, puts her in the freezer (which gets more screen time here than any microwave) and then accidentally begins eating her. Once he realises that he's eating her, and that he enjoys the taste of human flesh, he even shares it with nearby construction workers. He also bangs, then suffocates, a prostitute, covers her with lard and makes a sandwich out of her. She can be seen giggling and breathing, even though she is supposedly dead. So can the next girl he kills and then slices open. Stupid combo of slasher movies and satire of slasher movies, the scariest part of this movie is probably all of late 70s/ early 80s swinger-types with afro/ permed hair, looking like derelict rejects from The Village People. Idea might have worked better as a short film, running no more than twenty minutes in length, but even expanded to its scant 72-minutes run time, it falls flat quickly. The cast and crew are listed in the closing credits as though on a menu in a French restaurant: Le Chef, Donald: Jackie Vernon L'Aperatif, Knothole girl: Marla Simon. In Title Scene: Marla Simon's. (sic)La Menu (In order of consumption): La Specialite De La Maison, May: Claire Ginsberg. L'Hours D'oeuvre, Dee Dee Dee: Lou Ann Webber. La Poultry, Chick: Anna Marlowe. La Dessert, Susie Grubb, Cindy Gant. etc. etc. etc. .....Les Vibrators: Sticky Digits, Inc. Le Shadow: Only He Knows. La Danceur: Allison (Allison?) (sic)And Introducing Major Electronic as The Oven.The closing credits were probably the funniest part of this film, which isn't saying much.

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merklekranz

"Microwave Massacre" has the astoundingly awful acting of a John Waters film, along with more one liners than a Rodney Dangerfield comedy. Naturally the result is not "Oscar material", but certainly is a lot of low brow fun. "Microwave Massacre" falls into that ultra rare class of film that is so bad it's good. Jackie Vernon works wonders as he deadpans his way through this gourmet cannibal shlockfest. Offsetting some of the misfired jokes, is plenty of nudity to regain your attention. Just as "Sharks in Venice" is "Academy Award" BAD in the takes itself seriously category, "Microwave Massacre is a front runner BAD in the never taking itself seriously sweepstakes. - MERK

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Coventry

This movie is wrong on so many levels. "Microwave Massacre" is totally absurd and amateurish nonsense that doesn't feature anyone or anything that makes the slightest bit of sense. Some crazy friends presumably gathered together a couple of hundred bucks and decided to make their own movie. But instead of a spirited B-movie homage or creative gore flick – like, say, "The Evil Dead" or "The Dead Next Door" – this is just a load of embarrassing and irritating rubbish. I sincerely hope that everyone who was even distantly involved in the production of this film still thinks back about this little escapade with shame. The terribly annoying construction worker Donald, who loves old-fashioned baloney and cheese sandwiches, is depressed because his wife just bought a gigantic microwave and now just exclusively serves disgusting experimental TV-dishes. One drunken night, Donald just can't take it anymore. He kills the wife and microwaves her body parts into meat sandwiches. Donald quickly turns towards killing younger girls, as he craves for flesh that is less sturdy to consume. Can't blame him for that. "Microwave Massacre" is a slapstick comedy instead of a cheap horror tribute. Tiny little problem, however, is that the film isn't funny at all. The continuously bad jokes are only interfered to show random sleazy footage and overlong boring monologues. The acting is unbearable and the "gore" is pathetic. There are certain things in life which I'll never understand, like The Pythagorean Theorem and a handful of quantum physics formulas, but I've learned to accept that. Something I cannot and do not want to understand, though, is how this piece of crap can possibly have such a loyal fan base.

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