hyped garbage

A great movie, one of the best of this year. There was a bit of confusion at one point in the plot, but nothing serious.

The movie turns out to be a little better than the average. Starting from a romantic formula often seen in the cinema, it ends in the most predictable (and somewhat bland) way.

This is one of the best movies I’ve seen in a very long time. You have to go and see this on the big screen.

A girl is dying in the arms of her lover. Dying Girl: "Everyone is...dead"Dude: "Everyone?"Dying Girl: "I think"*silence*Dude: "Billy?"Dying Girl: "Yeah"Girl dies. Is this a horror film or a porno? Muck is a 2015 "horror" film in which a group of people are stuck in the middle of nowhere, being terrorized by some sort of tribe of men painted white, carrying torches and who love to impale people with axes. As I write this review, the film is still playing in my bluray player, yet I had to go to wikipedia to find a plot description because I have no idea what the hell is going on. While I wikipedia I see that it had its premiere at the Playboy Mansion....some things are starting to make sense now.The film consists of 1/3 horror, while the rest are shots of woman, in their underwear, staring at themselves in the mirror for 5 minutes. Looking at their breasts, their perfectly toned stomachs, then their asses in thongs. The scene then usually ends with them getting naked, having a 5 minute shower in slow motion while soft core porn music plays, trying to get out of the shower and tripping....cause that happens all the time, then getting killed. One character spends the entire film in her underwear. She looks amazing, don't me wrong, but if I want to see her in her underwear, or even naked for that matter, I've got this little thing called the internet. The opening credit sequence if unbelievably long. Maybe they didn't have enough footage to be qualified as a feature film, so they drag this sequence out to reach that running time. It also consists of one girl running around, dripping wet, topless. In one of the more laughable "horror" scenes. The same lead girl sneaks around a barn, then is attacked by one of the pale men with a pitch fork. He misses stabbing her, by a mile, instead of removing the pitchfork to stab her again, he leaves it and tries to drag her away. She is way too wet, so he can't get a hold of her. She then grabs the pitch fork and points it up. It is at this time that the pale man decides to jump on her, thus impaling himself on the forks. The sequence is so disastrously slow and un-choreographed that it seems like a parody. I assure you, it is not. The scene then ends with the woman, covered in blood, standing in front of a sprinkler for 2 minutes, getting soaking wet. When people are attacked, the director choose to focus on their breasts in slow motion, then their ass. All the pale men seem insistent on tearing their clothes away, only the women though, the men seem to be immune to their hatred of clothes. This film is so bad, that I honestly think it could be a comedy. Yet, nothing about it appears to be so. Characters are killed and people mourn for them for about 10 seconds before they have mundane conversations about shoes and going to the bathroom. They talk about this while standing right over the dead girlfriend of one character. The direction, the dialogue, the editing...everything about this film is so terribly, offensively, bad. A true gem of horrible filmmaking. One that should and will make a list of terrible movies. Is there anything redeeming about the film? Well, it opened interestingly enough. The characters are already being terrorized. It seems to jump in at the end of some other film, where our leads have been chased around already. I thought that was an interesting choice, to just drop us in like this. Also, the film tells the story from different perspectives at times, which replays the same situations from a different POV.I'm currently debating about finishing the film, there is about fifteen minutes left. Which means there is probably ten minutes of credits.

I was hopeful. I was wrong. My wife often chides me for watching crappy movies, and while some are not the best works of film, they are still enjoyable to watch. This was not. This is probably the worst film I've seen in 35 years of watching movies - and I've seen a LOT of 80's B-movies, so I know Crap when I see it. I'm sure the writing sounded witty in their head whilst composing, but it did not work in practice. The situational dialogue and reactions are completely unbelievable. People don't react the way these characters did. Good writing would have helped this film immensely. I'm wondering if Wolsh even passed the script to anyone for their opinion before deciding to do it. Seriously, it's that bad. Nothing about the plot was explained and at the end of the movie you're left wondering what the heck. Now, I understand this is supposed to be part of a trilogy or something, but even basic movies wrap up a little and leave you with some satisfaction before the cliffhanger. I just wanted something explained. Anything. Please! The ONLY positive thing I will say about this was their practical effects. I will give them a pat on the back for that. No CGI is great. So if they were using this to hone their craft in movie making, they achieved that goal. However, any movie needs a plot to follow and there was just no development of any kind. For a horror flick, I expected to see gratuitous T&A, and you get that, but even that isn't done well and I was left hoping they'd just get them off screen so they can move on with the story. Don't even bother with this film unless you are a friend of someone involved in the movie and you owe them a BIG favor, or you just lost a huge dare. God, please don't let them make the rest.

My quick rating - 2,0/10. Simple, 2 points for 2 boobs. The director is obviously obsessed with them and unless you have no idea where to find pictures or videos of boobs, then this movie is worthless for you. The plot is non-existent, literally. Every possible stupid thing to do or can happen, does i this movie. The acting is some of the worst, each scene is just another attempt to show off chicks in bra and panties or topless all together. Not sure why they were being killed. Killers were boring, kills themselves were youtube quality effects and the editing and camera-work LOOKS like this movie had a budget. Avoid at all costs, seriously unless you really don't know where to find softcore porn. This could possibly be one of the worst horror movies I have scene in many years.

I wanted to see a scary story, brief nudity, and teens/young adults in danger. The bonus was Kane Hodder. The movie gave me what I wanted. It's not Oscar-worthy, but interesting enough to make me want to see the prequel. Like most movies with new directors, especially if they are the writer, there was not enough edited out. Seeing every detail of Troit called for a ride and his uninteresting interactions with his girlfriend, bartender, and another girl (who didn't need to be present at all) slowed the whole movie down. Same for Noah going to a bar for help, which he didn't seem to do. There were several scenes that could have been cut completely, but I assume the director just wanted to get several people into the movie. OK, so they have their SAG cards now, hopefully this won't be the case in the prequel.