How sad is this?

It's not great by any means, but it's a pretty good movie that didn't leave me filled with regret for investing time in it.

It's funny, it's tense, it features two great performances from two actors and the director expertly creates a web of odd tension where you actually don't know what is happening for the majority of the run time.

There are moments that feel comical, some horrific, and some downright inspiring but the tonal shifts hardly matter as the end results come to a film that's perfect for this time.

Made in 1985 when the whole world lived under the shadow of the bomb and the Cold War looked like it would never end. Its quite ironic that this film and others before it echoed the fears of the whole planet but not long after its release the political climate started to change and it seemed the threat of nuclear war would finally be gone.Starting on April 1st 1986, No, its not a joke. In fact not only is it not a joke its the day the world ends with Nukes aplenty going off. Fast forward 15 years from that nightmare to April 1st, 2001 and we are introduced to a couple of people living underground who survived the bombs.Mainly the story is about Phillip and Marlowe, however that pun is intended as they are 2 guys who dreamt of become Private Investigators so its a post apocalyptic film noir. It's so noir the movie even starts in black & white but it immediately changes to colour once the guys leave their shelter and drive into the outside world.I knew I recognised the face of Phillip (John Stockwell) and it was because I remembered him playing the role of best friend Dennis in the horror movie Christine, the guy playing Marlowe (Michael Dudikoff) appears to be the worlds greatest bit part actor having been in nothing of any importance.The helpful trawl tells you the guys are Phillip Hammer and Marlowe Chandler (ignore how their billed in IMDb.com, its wrong) and they'd grown up in a shelter full of 40's memorabilia and sleazy detective novels hence the stupid noir style names.We also learn about a power struggle over 2 keys that could fire the last nuke left on Earth. The PI's rescue a damsel in distress (who also happens to have one of those keys) from some mutants and agree to get her to the closest phonebooth (like the telephone infrastructure will have survived WW3 or been rebuilt in 15 years?) but as those mutants are dealt with by some unseen force it appears the damsel may have both of the keys. We discover her name is Miles Archer (isn't Miles a mans name?) and a radio bulletin lets us know she was being chased by criminals.She makes her phone call and bails on her rescuers having seen something that scared her but not before robbing Marlowe and dropping the keys in their car. The film then pretty much degrades into Mad Max meets the Keystone Cops and pretty much stays there. The guys discover the keys and the name on the case that contains them is Dash Hammer - Phillips father, so they set off to discover if he is alive or not.After a bizarre encounter with Disco Mutants & a girl called Rusty Mars they finally enter Edge City, the closest thing to civilization. They walk around like a complete of complete rubes and you can tell they are going to either be constantly getting in or out of danger. It appears Rusty betrays Phillip to Sternwood, the leader of a local gang for the keys and he is told he will be sold for meat as the residents of Edge City are all cannibals.There are a great deal of escapes, rescues, captures and betrayals to the point where it just gets plain annoying. We have mutant sewer monsters and more Disco Mutants which get Phillip and Marlowe separated (for no real good reason other than to allow Marlowe a brief moment of glory as he rescues Phillip from the Disco Mutants before they meet back up with Miles who takes them back to her place.Phillip discovers a book on warhead arming & launch codes and finally realizes exactly what the keys are for and why they are in such high demand. (His flashback to his childhood is extremely inaccurate as its a very well known fact that looking directly into a nuclear blast burns out your retinas so he should actually be blind).Setting off in 40's outfits that fit them perfectly (stolen from the Disco Mutants, thats what was inside the 2 packages they were carrying) Phillip & Marlowe sucker the gangs following them into a trap in the hope they will all kill each other in the confusion.There's a nice twist about the identities of 2 of the Mutant leaders which is followed by an extremely pointless battle scene (why bother fighting for something you already have?) which ends up with the keys in Miles' possession. There's an even more pointless Mexican stand off and an unusual outcome with a very weak and incredibly open ending.I assume it was left so open to allow a sequel if this had been any kind of success so judging from the lack of sequel it probably wasn't. The film is pretty boring, there are lots of periods of nothing happening interspersed with rapid paced action that doesn't last long then a bit of dialogue to following and the cycle continues from start to finish. It's a pretty good example of how not to make a movie and its only real redeeming feature is its 80's soft rock sound track full of artists no-one has ever heard of.

John Stockwell and Michael Dudikoff star as two private dicks who emerge from a fallout shelter in the future after the bomb has dropped, once there we witness our two heroes fight mutants, midgets, cannibal hippies and a terrorist group, they've also grown up on 50's style literature and music so their whole "Gee whiz" attitude contradicts the mean world outside. Radioactive Dreams starts out on a promising note. The beginning which finds George Kennedy and Don Murray grabbing two kids and putting them in a fallout shelter while black and white footage of the atom bomb dropping is admittedly a stylish start. Unfortunately all of this goes sour when the premise kicks in and we witness Stockwell and Dudikoff adjust to the overblown horizons. Everything is over the top, things are somewhat pretentious (especially when Stockwell narrates) and worst of all everything is boring. Michael Dudikoff who would become a B.movie level star after American Ninja, really grates the nerves as his over the top shrieking never approaches the funny but always is annoying. Indeed you pick any Dudikoff movie on the video shelf and chances are you will not find a performance of his that reaches this level of bad. Stockwell is also very bad, but he's a veteran of terrible movies and his presence always guarantees badness. (See City Limits, which is even worse than this) Also there is no action which is the only way one can handle such a movie premise, after all it's about two sleuths who save the world, give us some action! Sadly Pyun treats this as a drama and induces slumber on the audience forced to witness this travesty.So what you have is Dudikoff's worst performance, Stockwell in his comfort zone and George Kennedy at his most embarrassed. The ending is somewhat diverting but once again this is a movie that has a great first act and nothing but sheer boredom after. The movie is somewhat bizarre but really this is strictly for die hard Dudikoff fans, who've watched American Ninja 4 too many times. While my advice to Dudikoff's most curious fans,is to stick with Avenging Force, American Ninja, The Silencer and American Ninja 2 after all those at least offer action.* out of 4-(Bad)

This fulfills the criterias to be a cult classic, something to love OR hate for everyone. I belong to the first category: 2 kids growing up in a nuke shelter with a large collection of detective novels deciding to be the post apocalyptic worlds first dicks, The Atomic Dicks! Fastpaced wachy post apocalyptic tong-in-the-cheek comedy. Irresistible. B-movie queen Lisa Blount pops up in this weird mix and singer Sue Saad gives a few nice songs like the excellent title song "Radioactive Dreams", the soundtrack certainly deserves to be released. Great acting, excellent photography and score. It is very low budgeted, but every last penny is up there on the screen and stretched well beyond its limit, just as it was the case with director Albert Pyun's "The Sword And the Sorcerer". This movie stands up to repeated viewing. 7/10

Having only been previously exposed to Albert Pyun's 90s-era direct-to-video low-budget action garbage, I picked up "Radioactive Dream" expecting a futuristic crapfest like "Nemesis" or "Omega Doom". I was surprised to discover this movie is not only original, but extremely funny and entertaining.Michael Dudikoff (in an effectively humorous role the same year he kicked off his B-action career with "American Ninja") and John Stockwell ("Christine", "My Science Project", and now a director of motion pictures) play Marlowe Chandler and Phillip Hammer - a couple of real dicks! Having been raised on 50s pulp detective novels (hence their names) while confined to an underground bomb shelter, they emerge 15 years after a nuclear war has turned the world into a post-apocalyptic wasteland. All these guys want is dames and to become the world's biggest private dicks. The first person they meet is a revolutionary rebel by the name of Miles Archer (Lisa Blount, who I also remember from another of my favorite guilty-pleasure 80s flicks, "Nightflyers", as well as "Blind Fury" and "Prince of Darkness"). Purely by accident, our two heroes end up in possession of the two keys that can launch the last nuclear missile in existence, and when this fact is discovered after they reach the last outpost of civilization - Edge City - they find themselves on the run from every mutant gang in town.This movie's pluses include a colorful variety of characters, many based on specific stereotypes from different eras (pulp detectives, disco mutants, greasers) as well as cannibals and giant rats; general goofiness in both the action sequences and the heroes' trying to get acquainted to the changed world; a most excellent 80s soundtrack; and George Kennedy to boot. As expected, the movie is a comedic satire for most of the first hour, but then suddenly turns serious in the last 20 minutes. But this movie does end with the coolest two-man song and dance number ever.In short, don't let the Pyun credit fool you. "Radioactive Dreams" is a good rental for those who wish to see something completely different. (Especially suggest a double billing of this with "Six-String Samurai") 7/10