The Worst Film Ever

Purely Joyful Movie!

Masterful Movie

Clever and entertaining enough to recommend even to members of the 1%

The original "Roadhouse" ranked as an invigorating, hard-knuckled, bruiser of a B-picture that benefited tremendously from good performances by Patrick Swayze, Ben Gazzara, and Sam Elliot, along with several tough-as-nails fights, and red-hot babe chicks with bosomy charms. Of course, the in-name sequel only "Roadhouse 2: Last Call" emerges as just another cash-in quickly follow-up film that has little to do with the original, but it isn't as tame or lame as the usual straight-to-video sequel. In other words, "Roadhouse 2" ain't half-bad, even if it is strictly formula without anything substantial to set it apart from the hundreds of other knuckle-busting, testosterone thrillers.Nate Tanner (Will Patton of "The Rapture")owns a popular nightclub in the sticks called the Black Pelican, and he has a hard time with the local narcotics smuggler, Will Bill (Jake Busey of "Starship Troopers"), who wants the Pelican owing to its'"location, location, location" promixity to his drug smuggling operation. When Nate refuses to sell out, Will Bill sends his muscle men out to change his mind. They don't succeed it changing Nate's mind. However, they beat him up sufficiently to put him in the hospital. Naturally, the local constabulary complains that they are too undermanned to handle the investigation. Actually, they're on the villain's payroll. Meanwhile, troubleshooting DEA agent Shane Tanner (Johnathon Schaech of "Hush" and "The Doom Generation") is having his own problems. He cannot make the big bust that his superiors expect him to make. When he learns that his uncle is in the hospital, Shane takes time off to visit him down in Louisiana. On the way to his uncle's bar, he happens upon a hopelessly pretty blonde, Beau (newcomer Ellen Hollman) changing a flat tire on her jeep and gives her a hand. Later, we discover that not only is Beau an elementary school teacher, but she also can kick, punch, stab, and shoot with the best of them. According to Beau, she acquired these implausible skills during her stay in the Army that helped her afford her college education. When he arrives at the Black Pelican, Shane discovers that the local drug dealers are selling product on his premises, and he gives them the boot. Reprisals are swift and sure, but Shane handles them without difficulty. He calls in help from his DEA buddies and sets up a meeting with Wild Bill and nearly busts Bill after a bullet-blasting gun battle at his bar. Jurisdictional boundaries are infringed upon by the government guys, and so the DEA have to back and let the local authorities handle the situation. Meantime, Nate recovers from his wounds while Beau and Shane take a shine to each other. In the background, Wild Bill's boss Victor Cross (Australian kickboxing sensation Richard Norton) steps in to see if he can't resolve of Wild Bill's predicament with Shane. It seems that Shane and Victor had a little run-in when Shane was a rookie Louisiana State Trooper. Evidently, our hero busted Victor for pot and coke. Since then Victor has migrated to Miami and has the world by the tail as a big-time drug smuggler. As it turns out, we learn late in the fourth quarter that Victor smoked Shane's father by accident because dad was driving Shane's car. Precisely speaking, Victor ordered nasty old Will Bill to pull the trigger. This comes out during a confessional moment between the two adversaries. "Roadhouse 2: Last Call" isn't a classic, but it does pack a solid punch or two. In other words, it stacks up better than the usual direct-to-video nonsense. Of course, it shouldn't have been made in the first place, but it's not a complete waste of time. Director Scott Ziehl keeps things popping throughout this 86 minute potboiler and he never wears out his welcome. Indestructible Will Patton appears to be playing the sort-of-Sam Elliot role. The fights are better-than-average, too, and the women are easy on the eye.

The Black Pelican isn't' nearly as cool as the Double Deuce! I am very angry about that. Still, this was a good movie. The fight scenes were better than BLOODSPORT even. There were corny lines, like when Jake Busey says "I'm going to kill you! Just like I killed your Dad!" Yes, the main dude in this movie is Patrick Swazy's son. Jake Busey killed the father for some reason. There were good fight scenes between Tanner and Busey, especially in the last scene. The movie is very strange in that there is a girl who throws knives and gets into a cat fight that never seems to end with a cute girl named Bo. Would I say this is as good as the first one? No way. But it's worth a quick watch. If you trip over your DVD's and this one happens to play on your DVD player, I would give it a chance.

The original Road House is by no means an award winning film. But it is one of the great guilty pleasures of all time. It shouldn't have been that hard to make a sequel. There's no need for a big budget, big name stars, and spectacular visual effects. Even the story didn't have to be original. All it needed was a good time vibe, and some great fist fights. I don't mean Matrix-style "wire-fu", just some well choreographed barroom brawls. Lots of them. There are a couple of decent fights in the movie, but none of them are memorable, and the focus is more on gun play. Plus, the way it ties in to the original film is laughable, bordering on insulting. Johnathon Schaech plays Shane Tanner, an undercover DEA agent who is good with his hands and feet. But here's the kicker...he's the son of Patrick Swayze's character Dalton!!!! Say what????? Let's see, the original Road House was made in 1989. So for Dalton to have a son in his late 20's (maybe even 30) in 2006...well you get the idea. They give it a cheesy explanation that he lived with his uncle Nate (Will Patton) while his father "travelled around a lot". Oh please. That itself almost warranted shutting this movie off. But I digress. Schaech is completely out of his element. Sure he can throw a couple of kicks, but he's got nothing going on as an actor. Plus, he's referred to in the movie by the bad guys as "pretty boy". I've never scrutinized men that closely, but I don't think this guy is too good looking. He looks sick. His face is way too thin, and his sunken eyes make it look like he's going to pass out at any moment. I'd never heard of him before, but I think he should give up acting and go back to his day job. Jake Busey plays the local drug runner Wild Bill. Busey is not a terrible actor. He was good in Starship Troopers, and even made a menacing villain in Hitcher 2. But here, he just chews the scenery in standard bad guy mode. Even his "threating" dialog is yawn worthy. We're supposed to buy him as the man that has the whole town in his pocket. But why? What does he do? Because he wants to buy a bar from Patton "by any means necessary"? Ellen Hollman has the token girlfriend role. A woman with a secret. Too bad that secret is about as difficult to figure out as 2+2. She's the local elementary school teacher who happens to be a former Army soldier. Guess what that means? It means that while she may quiver with fear for the majority of the movie, she'll be ready to smash heads when the fur starts to fly. Oh well, at least she's hot. Actually the fight between her and Wild Bill's girl is the best one in the movie. It's fast, brutal, and entertaining. Which leads me to my next problem with the movie...the fights. As I said Schaech knows how to throw a punch. The same can't be said for anyone he faces in the movie. Obviously the movie will all come down to Schaech versus Busey. Busey is an actor, not a fighter. He doesn't possess the skills to pull of a movie fight. Swayze may have been a trained dancer, but his athletic ability gave him the means to pull off well choreographed fights. He also faced a couple of worthy opponents, and had one killer (literally) move. None of that here. With a couple of exceptions, the fights are forced, poorly staged, and routine. The punches sound like someone smacking a 2X4 on the concrete, and there's even a couple of parts where the sound doesn't even match up to the punch. It's embarrassing. There isn't even the good southern/redneck music of the original. Road House had the Jeff Healy Band, who were a somewhat popular band at the time. This movie features a singer called John Otto, whose music is tepid, and his acting even worse. He's given one line in the movie, which was probably inserted to appease whatever fans he may have out there. Either that, or someone owed him a favor. My final complaint about the movie is one that comes out of just being picky...the continuity. Movies are shot out of sequence, and then it's the editor's job to piece it all together. Well someone should give the editor of this movie a little shove. The problems range from little things like people not looking the same direction when a shot changes, to RE-USED footage at the end of the movie. In the beginning, we are introduced to the bar, The Black Pellican. As the camera moves through the bar, you see the band, the bouncers, and the people dancing. At the end of the movie, when the bad guys have been defeated, we get another shot of the same bar, with insert shots of our hero sitting at the bar with his girl. The problem is, the footage of the people in the bar is the SAME footage from the beginning of the movie!!! I kid you not. It's the same people, standing (or dancing) in the same places, wearing the same clothes. Want to know the funniest part? You see bouncers in the shot that were KILLED earlier in the movie. Do yourself a favor, don't watch this movie unless YOU feel the need to go out and punch someone. This movie will make you angry enough to do it.

Let me start by saying you know a film is poorly run when extras make the cover. With that said, anyone who says this is the worst film ever is being dramatic, and anyone who says that the film is great is completely delusional. The film "is what it is." And what is that... A modest budget ($4 million, I estimate) studio sequel. The film isn't terrible, but for Road House fans it will be a disappointment. And that brings me to problem one, just as Dirty Dancing wouldn't been what it was without Swayze, Road House isn't the same without him. The lead lacks depth, character, and likability to carry the film. I feel that the lead was poorly cast and the producers should have bent over backwards to get Patrick to do it if they were gonna do a sequel. The other cast was uneven with outstanding actors like Will Patton along side day players who couldn't act there way out of a paper bag. Busey, who I have seen do great characters seemed like he just mailed it in. Ellen was played well, except for not being believable at all as a bayou raised chick. Sherri, the DEA agent at the first bar was hot and a good actress, yet her part was awkwardly small and undeveloped. The writer totally missed all opportunities to add depth and interest to the story and characters. Instead opting for a base one dimensional film. Which leads me to the biggest problem, the script... I got a bad feeling when the credits rolled and there were three script writers separated by an "and" and an "&." It looked very amateur. And that is what the writing was. I heard the original script was better and then a rewrite was done and the hard core sucking began. Some cheezy parts of the film to watch for are... During the first undercover meeting, the obvious drug deal under the table. "Hey lets meet at a crowded nudey bar, I will pull a block of coke out of my jacket and you pull cash out then we will slide them under the cocktail table" WAIT! "Make sure to look cool when you look left and right to make sure no one is looking!" Second, I love it when someone gets shot in the chest and then you see him sitting up happy as a lark 10 minutes later. There are some nasty editing cuts towards the end of the film especially during fight scenes and when the main character is chasing thru doors and runs into a patron. Which brings me to the realism of the DEA training, I won't both to get technical... But jumping thru doors isn't standard training... Nor do typical female agents, who bust their butts to make it in a male oriented field, act like weak characters... Boring! Thanks for the chauvinistic view Heir Director. There is other stuff I could teach a course at a school about it... The sped up fighting, the cheezy dialogue, the recycled story... etc... But aside from all that you just cannot like ex-Mr. Applegate, he totally lacks the humble zen coolness that made Mr. Patrick Swayze such a bad ass. He just strikes me as one of those 5 foot nothing actors who think they are a bad ass, but just like Van Damnit he runs into a real bad ass (Chuck Zito in Van Don't case) and he gives him a lesson about "badassdom." Therefore, that I feel is the major linchpin of the film, if you are a bad ass you are a bad ass, you don't have to try. Example: Swayze! If you are a pretty boy who tries to hard to prove you are a bad ass among other things... Then well... You are why your audience, the Average Joe... Will not rent this film, and if they do they will write reviews like this.