best movie i've ever seen.

Absolutely Fantastic

It really made me laugh, but for some moments I was tearing up because I could relate so much.

One of the most extraordinary films you will see this year. Take that as you want.

There's really only one reason to watch this awful movie, so let's get it out of the way as fast as possible: Jon Polito's bit part is awesome. I don't think Polito knew "Rock Monster" wasn't a parody, but it all worked out fine. Most semi-established actors that take jobs in low-budget garbage totally phone it in, but Polito does the exact opposite and chews the scenery like there's no tomorrow. Damn it, why isn't he the lead? Unfortunately the Polito-free bits are much harder to sit through, mainly because everything just moves at a snail's pace. Take for instance the whole sequence after they "kill" the monster for a first time: you know the movie's only halfway done, you know it's not really dead yet. Why do they show the villagers celebrating for what feels like eight hours? Get to the damn point. Furthermore, why do they put so much effort into killing the indestructible supercreature when they know for a fact that it's controlled by a mortal guy who can barely take a punch? Damn it, just kill that guy! I guess these Russian villagers just really enjoy challenges, that's probably why they speak English with one another as well. Overall there's just nothing about "Rock Monster" that kept my attention. Everything about it is terrible, but at the same time not terrible enough to really laugh at. So basically, it's one of the most frustrating B-movies you can encounter. Steer clear.

How do I describe this movie, that so many have so eloquently and poignantly done so, preceding me, using several syllable words, that I think only deserves singles? Like "Barf.Plot is thinner than steam-on-a-window and the CGI is just bloody awful. (Anyone remember Alien where you didn't really get to see the monster? How'd it ever sell? Try the original Cat People for a real thrill...) How did this crap get made? It's right up there with other lame one in the Iraqi desert with the Chicotay begging for scraps after his gig was over in outer space, which I believe ran the night before on Space.Oh, yeah, probably my Canadian tax dollars, hard at work! Herk

Horibile movie with bad actors, horrible effects and a rubbish storyline DO NOT WATCH!!!!! I wouldn't watch it again even if i got paid. The protagonists find an old sword in a boulder, the lead then pulls it out. Upon arriving at a local village, the villagers are immediately frightened and angry at the kid . Then we learn the sword unleashed the spirit of an evil wizard from the Middle Ages who comes back in the form of a walking pile of rocks. Then there's this really creepy guy with a stereotypical Eastern European name (Dimetri or something) terrorizes the village and Jason who is half dead after being crushed under hundreds of rocks kills the large pile of rocks Absolute bullshit

If you are thinking about watching this film then I recommend that you don't waste your time. The plot is unoriginal and predictable, just a load of ideas stolen from different films jumbled up together to create this. Its cheesy to the extreme, some of the lines actually made me wince they were so bad. The acting was okay, the lead character Jason was the best out of the lot in my opinion but the script was so poor that it made him look crap. He's the only reason this review gets 2 stars.One of the things that really got to me was the accents. What was up with that? The British guy, Warren, was so horrible that I felt relieved when he was finally and predictably killed off. I first thought he was French, then there was the typical Queen's English that obviously everyone in Britain uses, then he sounded eastern European. Rubbish. It also surprised me that in a tiny remote village (that buses only travel to once a week) they were all able to speak such good English. I mean, Cassandra sounded American she was that good. So, yeah. Thought it was terrible :)