Tied for the best movie I have ever seen

Let's be realistic.

If you like to be scared, if you like to laugh, and if you like to learn a thing or two at the movies, this absolutely cannot be missed.

Actress is magnificent and exudes a hypnotic screen presence in this affecting drama.

Here's the premise: an iron-pumping 80's-rockin' nice guy who has cornered the world's supply of spandex matches wits with the Dark Lord of the Abyss in a psychological real estate battle for a Canadian farmhouse.You have to see this movie to not believe your eyes. Then once the belief in your eyes is gone, you will be prepared to \m/ "accept the challenge" \m/!Some things you will learn from this movie: 1) Hell is easily accessible through any mid-century oven. 2) The minions of the Dark can be incapacitated by just casually resting a can of ice cold Coke Classic on their doll-like fingers. 3) If you are ever in a showdown with a big rubber Satan puppet, and it's shooting Wacky Wall Walkers at your hairless nipples, you can just pull its ankles out from under it. After turtling a little, the spindly Prince of Lies will simply give up. ...and there's so much more.This movie is so incomprehensibly nutso that it will alter your perception of reality. For at any moment, an Intercessor may reveal himself among us. Your incessant, out-loud and incredulous laughter is the only thing that will save your sanity. A must-watch.

Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare starts off with a van driving around for what seems like the length of two films, then a whole bunch of nothing happens until we get a hilarious shower sequence with Thor and some (how do I put this nicely?) not very attractive woman. Then nothing continues to happen, but bad filmmaking and untamable hair until we reach the epic final ten minutes. The finale is why this film has more than just the cast and crew remember it. You might as well fast forward to the jaw dropping display of Satan and puppets vs Thor, because it reaches heights so terrible they become a perfect creation of pure awful. I'd like to think that tongue was in cheek when this sequence was filmed ('filmed' seems like such a complicated word for what's on display here), but I think cocaine was in nose instead. There's no point in describing a visual experience that's bound to have you spit your beer/whiskey across the across the room or send you into a coughing fit from whatever drug you're smoking or dislocate your shoulder from pointing at the screen laughing. 'What were they thinking' doesn't apply here - 'what were they on' does.

To say the very least, they don't make them like this anymore.The Edge of Hell is really like nothing you will ever have seen before. It a horror film that epitomizes the term 'eighties cheese'. You would think after witnessing this that it must surely have been written by a 14 year old boy, and possibly a slightly stupid one. But no, this is the work of Jon Mikl Thor the lead actor and pioneer of the completely forgotten heavy metal sub-genre known as muscle-rock. He sports a haircut so obscene it is easily the most disturbing element in the entire movie. His music is mind-bogglingly awful and he gets to play a couple of tracks in full for our benefit. Lyrically you will be hard pushed to find anything more banal. But of course the sheer stupidity of this film is the chief reason to see it. Thor is nothing if not a one-off, and as events unfold in this film you will agree that this cheese-fest is certainly unique.The story is borderline incomprehensible. It's sort of about a possessed house where a heavy metal band have decided to record music in but by the end you will be left entirely baffled and unsure just what exactly has unfolded before your eyes. Characters disappear and reappear with really no rhyme nor reason. For instance, about half-way in a bunch of groupies appear in the middle of the night for a scene that has truly no purpose whatsoever. The monsters in the film compromise for the most part of finger puppets and cheap masks. They are completely ridiculous. As is the accent of the drummer – was he meant to be Australian? English? Who knows quite honestly.However, nothing, I repeat NOTHING, can prepare you for the final confrontation. Up to this scene the film has been a pretty strange experience. A combination of lame horror, vaguely hideous soft-core sex and mind-bogglingly awful hair metal music performances. But the finale takes everything that has gone before and disregards it with an extended scene where Thor turns into a character called The Intercessor and battles Beelzebub. Words are simply not adequate at describing the contents of this scene. But suffice to say Thor strips down to his leather underpants, sports eye-liner and has his previously ridiculous haircut made even more ridiculous via the application of a bottle of hairspray. The homo-erotic nature of this metal warrior is simply impossible to ignore. He then proceeds to battle the giant puppet that constitutes Beelzebub. For some reason the demon begins this confrontation by throwing starfish at our hero. They then engage in a wrestling match. This whole scene is quite honestly legendary, and worth enduring the other rubbish for.Yeah, as I say, they don't make them like this anymore.

Why a 9 you ask? Because my 1-10 scale is different, and my dreams not like yours. B-movies are on a different scale system, and this one is very special, mainly because of the ending and the totally radical Jon-Mikl Thor soundtrack. But the ending... I won't spoil it, but it will shock even the most hardened b-movie connoisseur. You WILL be left asking yourself questions like:Jon-Mikl Thor; Genius or Madman?Jon-Mikl Thor; Was that a skinny woman's nightie you were sporting during the (GNARLY) song 'Energy'?Jon-Mikl Thor; Is my new-found fear of showers only a TEMPORARY side-effect from watching the movie?Jon-Mikl Thor; Based on the lyrics to your (RADICAL) song 'Energy', do you think it's accurate to say you SOMETIMES act like a fool? And did you say 'I feel small when on shrooms'? 'Cause sometimes when I'm on shrooms my head feels small, then really big, then small again...Jon-Mikl Thor; Is that hairspray manufactured on our plane of existence or just in the heavens? That super-hold hairspray could only be created by the Gods themselves! By the beard of Zeus!The answer to all of these questions and more is YES! Even the ones that weren't yes or no questions. Jon-Mikl Thor is the freakin' INTERCESSOR! You'll take whatever answer he has to give and you'll freakin' like it or he'll cast you out of Valhalla and laugh at you! That's Jon-Mikl Thor! High on his mountain! Weird, stupid fun.