So much average

One of my all time favorites.

Absolutely the worst movie.

It is a whirlwind of delight --- attractive actors, stunning couture, spectacular sets and outrageous parties. It's a feast for the eyes. But what really makes this dramedy work is the acting.

Okay fine The Expendables franchise isn't a complete failure in my eyes, this is by far the best one and three movies in shows potential.First of all I want to address a point. I've long since complained about the state of a world where it's highest paid people are actors, singers and sports people. Though I'm a movie obsessive I'll never deny that they are offensively overpaid and Expendables 3 demonstrates that with the absence of Bruce Willis. They tried to get him back in a small capacity, just 4 days work and offered him 3 million. 3 million dollars for 4 days work! In response, he demanded 4 million and they decided to cut him loose. So think about this, a man being paid more for a days work than a minimum wage worker is likely to make in their entire life! That ladies and gentlemen is the world we live in.Anyway I digress.I wouldn't go as far as to say that The Expendables 3 entertained me but it certainly had its moments. The action was marginally better than the previous two films but it's saving grace was the cast. No I'm not talking about the same guys who have been phoning it in for the past two movies, I mean the newbies. Antonio Banderas stole the movie, he was brilliant. Snipes delivered like I haven't seen him do so in years and despite all the criticism I think Rousey did a great job as well.So fine, it's not the big action blockbuster to end all action blockbusters but it blows the previous two movies out of the water. With a great villian, the new cast and a good lengthy finale it's passable stuff.The Good:As much as it pains me to say, Mel GibsonAntonio Banderas & Ronda RouseyThe Bad:Robert Davi was wastedStill mindless cliched stuffThings I Learnt From This Movie:Every person on the planet without any formal training can wield any type of firearm like a professionalThe moment Gibson was outed as a bigot, he started doing bad guy roles and nailed it every timeI genuinely want to know if it's possible to attain/maintain a physique like Stallones without steroidsCountless explosive shells fired from tanks at a building rigged with explosives won't set them offDisguising yourself as a bad guy complete with helmet without your allies knowing you're doing it in a full assault situation makes perfect sense

The film opens with the usual impossible rescue scene. This time it is to rescue Wesley Snipes who will be known as Dr. Death. To his dismay they did so because they needed a fifth for a mission, one that fails. Stallone must go after Mel Gibson, who is not dead, really, but decides to retire his team because he fears for their life. Kelsey Grammer helps him recruit a new team, one that is more akin to an MIB force which includes Kellen Lutz, Ronda Rousey, and Victor Ortiz. Things go their formulaic way and the old guys plus the very talkative Antonio Banderas join the picture...again.Harrison Ford flew a helicopter like Hans Solo, Jet Li had a minor role that we can see expanding, and of course Arnold is back.The film is lengthy and spends time to quickly develop all the new players. The banter was not as good as the previous films, but was still acceptable. Banderas' character has "Peter Sellers" potential as a screw up who seems to luck into things.What best came out of this film was the potential for the next one.Parental Guide: 1-2 F-bombs. No sex or nudity.

After ditching his team as a result of a failed mission, Barney recruits a younger, hi-tech group which will help him get his revenge. Unfortunately, messing with the wrong people combined with the lack of experience will turn the whole operation upside down, leaving the ex-group to play the heroes and save the situation.It's a movie which brings together a huge group of celebrities, making every child's dream become true. To see together actors like Stallone, Ford or Gibson in the same picture is simply awesome, not to mention that there are much more very well-known figures. It's a movie which focuses its whole attention on the action part, the shooting, the explosions and the fast paced scenes, almost forgetting about everything else. Its story is mediocre at most, it's characters are simplistic and not very well outlined, sometimes even making questionable decisions, while its finale is highly predictable. Don't get me wrong, I didn't have high expectations regarding these but a bit more interest regarding them would have contributed a lot to the overall quality of the picture. It's great to see how a couple of people decimate a whole army but you can't create a truly great movie just with this kind of scenes.

This movie is so sick it gave me a cold and now I have a serious DayQuil addiction. Why? Dolph Lundgren.Yes, he is in this film (and I don't mean he exists physically in the box that it comes in, I mean his VISAGE is photografically projected on the screen via the inversion of the cinematograph.)On a purely technical note, it's worth noting that I once dated someone who did not like this film so I didn't pay for the wings and she broke up with me. I sware, it happenedI remermber that when this film came out I was younger but have since aged due to nature's cruel plan but Dolph has NOT. Go math that you scientists of the world. E=MC Hammer/10