ridiculous rating

A Major Disappointment

n my opinion it was a great movie with some interesting elements, even though having some plot holes and the ending probably was just too messy and crammed together, but still fun to watch and not your casual movie that is similar to all other ones.

Blistering performances.

They assembled an all-star cast for this film. They included "dark" favorites such as Alice Cooper and Christopher Lee. Character actors like Depp and Helena Bonham Carter. Toss in Chloë Grace Moretz, Michelle Pfeiffer, Eva Green and a great soundtrack and you would think you would have a great film, right? They forgot to hire a writer.The film opens with a long narration to give us the 196 year old background, then shifts to 1972. Some of the humor involves the typical 200 year old man stuff coming into a strange era. It also had the immature "balls" humor. The dialogue was bad. It managed to be campy without being funny. The advantage of bringing the series to the big screen would be the use of great special effects limited by a stage. This was underutilized.This movie was classless. None of these women could hold a candle to Lara Parker. And if you are going to give 1972 as the year the movie takes place, why would you play music that wasn't released until 1978? I thought Chloë Grace Moretz did great in her role. Gulliver McGrath as David was also fairly decent. The writing, editing and directing killed this film. Wait for the rental.No f-bombs or nudity. Weird sex scene.

Dark Shadows starts out fun, but it falls apart in the second half. As the end nears, this film takes a darker, more serious tone, which doesn't feel right after the fairly humorous beginning. It also throws in a bunch of seemingly irrelevant plot points and twists as the end nears. Nevertheless, it is visually entertaining and it has some some entertaining moments -- it's just not one of Tim Burton's best works.

An imprisoned vampire, Barnabas Collins, is set free and returns to his ancestral home, where his dysfunctional descendants are in need of his protection. For years Tim Burton has been one of my favorite Movie Directors and how couldn't he be? The man made Batman (1989) and Batman Returns (1992) he is a serious mastermind. But the last couple of years he has a tough time with his fans and his films quite fail in general the same goes for star Johnny Depp. Now Dark Shadows (2012) personally i found it a pretty good dark/Gothic comedy about a Vampire that was cursed to live forever and his only love was taken away from him. Plus there's nothing hotter than a blonde Eva Green and once again she proves of how great of an actress she really is, Depp is also great as Barnabas Collins he is funny, smart and scary when he wants to be and he won't let anyone hurt the family's name. Michelle Pfeiffer is also great as usual and it's good to see her in a Burton movie again, Chloë Grace Moretz plays the angry teen that is mad with the World and she of course does a pretty cool job. And for once again it wouldn't be a Tim Burton movie without Helena Bonham Carter right? There's also great cameos by Alice Cooper and the late Christopher Lee and i really loved the explosion in the Factory with the Red Fire it looked pretty cool. It might not be the cup of tea for some people and i totally get it plus it's comedy might not be for some but it's definitely a good film plus there's a great reference to Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) and even Batman Returns (1992). If you like goth, Tim Burton and Johnny Depp you might actually enjoy this film besides it's definitely better than Big Eyes!!

Fans (like me) of the original "Dark Shadows" TV series need to remember, this is not an episode of that series, or an original storyline or continuation of it. I think that's what most fans came into this looking for. It is instead (as most Burton films are) a tribute to, or more correctly a parody of, the series, and specifically a parody of the Barnabas Collins vampire storyline.Johnny Depp does the character justice for the material he is given. The actress who plays Dr. Julia Hoffman really does not: regretfully, she is no Grayson Hall and therefore doesn't bring the same air of mystery and near-foreboding to the part. Part of that may be due to the scripting though, and the comedic air which is brought to the film in scenes where it seems a bit out of place (for example, when Barnabas attacks a group of teenagers because he needs to feed). The actress who played Angelique also suffers from the same shortcomings (Lara Parker was much better in the role).The film is appropriately timed at the ending up at Widow's Hill, and in the beginning, but throughout suffers from uneven pacing and seemingly a bit confused direction. Word to all DS fans: Relax, it's a parody, have a bit of fun with it on a Friday night over your favorite beverage or two. Don't expect serious drama and you'll enjoy it fine.