Instant Favorite.

Better Late Then Never

Although it has its amusing moments, in eneral the plot does not convince.

One of the film's great tricks is that, for a time, you think it will go down a rabbit hole of unrealistic glorification.

You must know by now that "Hard Ticket to Hawaii" is filled with humorous violence and gorgeous women.The violence doesn't feel cruel or personal. It's more of a device for telling a real story. The Playboy models in scanty outfits are a celebration of the human form, not pornography.My father and brother would watch this movie together. They knew the plot and lines well enough to recite them, along with the actors. The movie bled over into real life, and they would say the lines to each other when the moment felt right.As my father descended into terminal Alzheimer's disease, this film was his one last link with reality. Watching this film would bring him out of his stupor, and he would become verbal again.Now that Father is gone, the entire family watches this movie once a year,on Christmas Eve. We make eggnog, eat fruitcake, and wear sweaters. And cry some, too.

I suspect that the bulk of my review for any Andy Sidaris movie will sound something like this: big boobs... blah blah blah.... guns... blah blah blah.... great ass... shower scene... blah blah blah.... jacuzzi... blah blah blah (which will save me a fair amount of time at the keyboard, I suppose). While this all sounds well and good, I'm only two movies into my 12-film Girls, Guns and G-Strings box set, and I'm already finding Sidaris's initially promising formula of big breasted babes, bullets and bad guys extremely hard work thanks to the the uninspired scripts and pedestrian direction.Hard Ticket To Hawaii actually proves even more tedious than its predecessor Malibu Express, with a weaker plot (hard to imagine such a thing is possible, but here it is) and less sex (although, admittedly, still plenty of nudity from a bevy of hard-bodied babes); even the film's sillier scenes—a skateboarding assassin and his blow up sex-doll being shot out of the sky by a bazooka, a bad guy killed by a razor-edged frisbee, and a snake infected with toxins from cancer infested rats bursting out from a toilet bowl—are so poorly realised that they fail to make this anything but a massive B-movie bore, albeit one with great tits and ass.3.5 out of 10, rounded up to 4 for IMDb.

Hard Ticket To Hawaii has two bimbo travel to Hawaii to fight off drug-lords who are distributing the bad powders on paradise and this shall not stand when our bimbos and meat-heads, Er I mean the DEA are in town looking for a little take out. Hard Ticket To Hawaii brings up a few questions that I was constantly thinking about throughout. Mainly when did the DEA stop using mandatory IQ tests? Why is it that every DEA agent carries at least a double D breast size and why must every woman look like a model? The answer is of course that this is a Andy Sidaris movie and in this type of movie, heroes don't need much intellect to save the world, after all the villains are just as dense. Hard Ticket To Hawaii is surprisingly competent as these things go, I mean it isn't at all any good but it does deliver what it promises. In fact fans of the genre maybe amused by this effort, even if it is for all the wrong reasons. Also the movie interestingly predates the whole Snake On Plane routine as indeed this is the first movie to ever a have a wild snake on a plane.* * out of 4-(Fair)

If you liked The Remains Of The Day, Terms Of Endearment, or Steel Magnolias... avoid this movie at all costs.How do you begin to describe a movie with gratuitous nudity, bad acting, an implausible plot, 2-dimensional characters, and bad fight scenes? How do you describe the necessity for a mutant snake, an inflatable doll, skateboarding henchmen and razor-bladed frisbees in the same movie? Ofcourse, I COULD mention some of the greatest lines of our generation like,"Life is a bitch and then you die." Or maybe,"Just when you thought it was safe to take a pee." (I can't make that up.)Why would I bother telling you that I searched for years to find this movie on DVD to watch over and over and over again? I dare not watch another movie in this series for fear of besmearching the good name of this gem. Please, please, please, if have the opportunity, watch it at least once. This movie is like how Richard Gere describes the opera in Pretty Woman. Those that love it, will love it forever, and those that don't will learn to appreciate it, but it will never become a part of their soul. Enjoi filmphilesP.S. I take no blame for mental trauma suffered from watching this film.