Really Surprised!

Lack of good storyline.

It’s fine. It's literally the definition of a fine movie. You’ve seen it before, you know every beat and outcome before the characters even do. Only question is how much escapism you’re looking for.

The story, direction, characters, and writing/dialogue is akin to taking a tranquilizer shot to the neck, but everything else was so well done.

So I'm totally writers-blocked one night while trying to finish a script. And I'm channel-surfing cable, my mind a blank, settling in to a long night of unproductivity, wondering fearfully - like everyone who experiences the steel wall of Writer's Block - how I'll ever be able to string words together again, when suddenly - THE NEW GUY. And words come.Ironically, there are not enough words in the virgin English tongue to describe the depths of stupidity THE NEW GUY plumbs. But it is not all bad. Well, the story, acting, directing, characters and production values are excrement - what saves the movie are its CAMEOS...Just before I can slap someone in frustration for the movie's putridness, and continue channel surfing - Gene Simmons.Yes, Gene Simmons of KISS as an evangelist preacher. From outa nowhere. Hilarious! Bad hairstyle only helping.Then Vanilla Ice as an overzealous bouncer. Funnier than his whole career combined.Henry Rollins as a prison warden. Square jaw, square job.Crue's Tommy Lee as a partygoer with a chick on each arm - now there's a stretch! Other cameos passim, topped off by none other than The Hoff - doing his Knight Rider as only he can.The bawdy cameos exist in another dimension of viewing pleasure, unrelated to director Ed Decter's and writer David Kendall's egregious film.THE NEW GUY is about utter dorkfish, Gil Harris (D.J. Qualls), who gets himself expelled from school (after a humiliating erection incident), so he can re-invent himself at another school as tough guy, Dizzy Harrison. It's meant to be a comedy. Too bad it isn't funny.I gotta get back to my script...--Review by Poffy The Cucumber (for Poffy's Movie Mania).

I can't believe I watch this. Maybe I'm too old for this or I've been watching too much comedy with Seth Rogen in it. That, coming from someone who can watch Road Trip over and over again. Writing is junk, directing is mediocre, camera work needs to be worked on and acting is somewhere between bad and tolerable. To be pessimistic, maybe this can be a stepping stone for rising celebrities, writers and directors. But I have to say that DJ Qualls does have the potential to make it big in the comedy genre. He might even make it big in Drama if he quits being cast in a comedy such as this.Overall, if you're below the age of 18, you might enjoy this movie. Older than that, you might have to find a true honest comedy movie.P.S: The 4 stars is for DJ Qualls.

DJ Qualls and Eliza Dushku make an "interesting" on-screen duo (and later couple) in this all American style comedy that is oriented for a teen audience.Sure, there are many clichés but you can forget about them in order to have a "decent" time.The movie is about a geeky, loser student that gets bullied all the time and could never get any girls. So he changes to another high school and invents himself a new cool, badass, groovy attitude that convinces everyone (except the popular male studs) that he's really cool.With his new attitude, he starts dating -sort of- the hottest cheerleader in school and that's just enough to make him change for bad because now he dismisses his old friends and his personality is now really annoying.Things get really ugly when the popular male students from his new college investigate about his past and discover that he was a terrible loser...Watch the rest and expect interesting things with a message.Eliza Dushku never looked this hot. I mean, her body is just spectacular and is enough reason to watch the movie. She's unbelievable hot believe me, if not, watch the scenes where she's trying on some skimpy, raunchy bikinis.DJ Qualls is really funny this time.Anyways watch this movie if you are in the mood for a predictable but funny teen comedy with some decent spoofs ("Patton" for example).

To be honest, and this will probably shock you, I felt a soft spot for this film. It could have been the multitude of cameos. Maybe it was the shockingly impassioned DJ Qualls, or maybe it was the fact that this reminded me of a different time in cinema where movies were made to just be funny. "The New Guy" felt like one part "Can't Hardly Wait", one part "Empire Records", with one part actually feeling like a dud Pauley Shore movie. You probably hate me already, but these elements clicked with me. Now, this wasn't Oscar-caliber in any way shape or form, but it did hold my attention, made me chuckle, and made me appreciate classic 90s (early 00s) tween comedy.The plot surrounding this film could be found anywhere. Qualls plays Dizzy Harrison, a nobody determined to be someone this year in school. A debacle – of which will not be mentioned – sends him screaming to the nurses office and eventually into jail. It is during his moments of detention that he meets with Luther (the low-point of the film Eddie Griffin), who teaches him to act like he is a different person. It sticks, Dizzy goes to another school under the pseudonym of Gil Harris – wins the hearts of the students, a hot cheerleader named Danielle (Eliza Dushku), and nearly looses all of his friends. Will he be able to live the high life he has created, or will his past catch up to him? If you cannot answer this question, it is obvious you need to start watching more movies. Like I said when I started this, the plot isn't something you want to spend your Sunday writing to Grandma about – it is the passion of the characters, the enthusiasm of the creators, and the easy-going spirit of the film that actually hooked me more than I anticipated. I liked the jokes. I liked laughing at Lyle Lovett getting hit in the eye with a flaming marshmallow, I liked the fact that Vanilla Ice was playing a FYE-esquire employee with a mean streak, and I loved whenever those O'Connell boys were on the screen. Something about these moments took me back when comedies prided themselves on weak plots and cameos galore. One could almost say this was a precursor to the "Scary Movie" franchise, except better executed.The plot is feeble. That has been established already. The plot wasn't bad, it was just cliché ridden to the point where you could care less what was going to happen (because it was predictable prior to it happening), but wanted to see our characters – Qualls, Dushku, Deschanel, Lovett, O'Connell, and more (Gene Simmons as a Reverend?) – were headed. I can't say that I loved the characters, but they kept my attention on screen more than I thought. I think what impressed me about this film was that it didn't rely on crass body humor to progress the plot, the jokes (while weak) did have some moments of creativity to them. Someone tried to give this film a cult standing, but failed – but not without going out fighting. I applaud this attempt. The characters worked well together. Whether you were waiting for another priceless cameo or just watching Qualls bumble around Dushku, I was following it. This combination was perfect with a cool beverage, a warm evening, and a desire to laugh. There wasn't any high level of expectation – and I think that is where "The New Guy" succeeded. It knew where it wanted to be, and it didn't strive to go further. I have been hesitant to see "Borat" because of the hype that everyone applauds to it, so in this instance the bar has been set too high. For "The New Guy", I knew very little about it outside of the previews that I had seen in other films for this one. I didn't want to see this movie, but when it arrived, I wasn't scared to put it in my DVD player. I was happy. This was a chuckle filled film.Another element that I really enjoyed was the parody connection. "The New Guy" parodied other films of that year (or older/younger) and you just don't see that anymore. Outside of the obvious parody films that have been released lately (shall we never speak of "Epic Movie" again), Hollywood tends to avoid this in modern cinema, but for this critic is has always made me laugh. Why do you think I own "The Critic" series? I thought this really enforced this film's standard – again – without going over the preset bar, it brought a new level of comedy to the surface and writer David Kendall coupled with the direction of Ed Decter did a great job of keeping performances low, cameos high, and intelligence mediocre. There was a level of understanding that this was a decent film, but it didn't want the general public to know it.Overall, I could complain about the bad parts of this film all day, I could also speak highly of other parts that I just seemed to cobble up like leftover cake, but I am not. I will suggest this film to friends and family, let them be grumpy with me for a bit, but I liked this movie. It is not one that will be added to my collection, but for the time and place that I am currently at "The New Guy" hit the spot. Qualls isn't the greatest comedian, but his comic timing is genuine. His matching with Dushku was preposterous and we all knew, but we went along anyway because it was a comfortable cliché. I like the comfortable clichés.Don't skip it, but don't knock it till you see it. Surprise yourself.Grade: *** out of *****