best movie i've ever seen.

Best movie ever!

It’s an especially fun movie from a director and cast who are clearly having a good time allowing themselves to let loose.

The thing I enjoyed most about the film is the fact that it doesn't shy away from being a super-sized-cliche;

A very lousy cast (Meyers, Argento, Harris, Everett) are very miscast in a mostly crappy and very pointless film. But none is more miscast than Asia, though. Argento plays one of those dangerous criminal goyls that only exist in the minds of movie-writers: she's rough and tough -IF you'll believe it. To make her (even) tougher they made her say "f***" about a hundred times, yet every time she said the word it was as funny and fresh as the first time. Fortunately, she takes her clothes off nearly as often as she says "f***", and she does look good in the nude. Harris is his usual ugly, uncharismatic, untalented self, so the fact that he's miscast is a mere irrelevancy; although the fact that he plays an impotent man does have a ring of truth about it. This nepotistic thespian shouldn't B. in movies, period. Everett lacks credibility and overplays his "cool cat" routine too often.The movie is absurd, has some rather "duh" dialog, and the only things going for it are its nice visual quality, the fact that it isn't too boring, and, of course Asia's nudity. With a cast like this, it would have been naive to expect a better movie.If you want a complete listing of Hollywood's nepotist actors and actresses, with pictures and explanations, e-mail me. Or you can go to http://rateyourmusic.com/~Fedor8 and check out my "TV & Cinema: 150 Worst Cases Of Nepotism" list.

Flipping channels one night, I came across a movie that promised Asia Argento, Rupert Everett and Johnathan Rhys-Meyers (big fan of his) and directed by the guy who did "Il Postino" so I decided to stick around and give it a chance. I should've watched trout fishing instead as that would've been more unpredictable than this. Argento is a revelation in this as she dominates each scene she's in and left me wanting more. Rhys-Meyers does well here as does Everett. The problem is that the movie is too predictable and the leading man is totally dull. When characters go on the run, of course the villains are going to catch up. When two totally different characters fall in love, of course they'll spend 1/3 of the movie arguing. When a thief says "this is my last job", of course you know it won't be. This screenplay seems to come out of a Cinema 101 course. Absolutely NOTHING original. There are tons of plot holes too. The most glaring is when Argento shows up at the house of a woman who threatens her boyfriend's job. How did she get the address? Did anyone re-read the script? Another note to filmmakers: Boring jazz makes boring movies. Jared Harris's choice of music almost put me to sleep. Is that really what you want your audience to do? John Carpenter used jazz in "The Fog" but it was nicely kept to the background but here it's annoying. If you're a fan of Argento, Everett or Rhys-Meyers then check out this movie. If you're not...well, there's always trout fishing. This is strictly a B-Movie that tries for atmosphere and action but just leaves you feeling bored.

Alan Furnace is a school teacher who's only joy in life is his late-night slot on hospital radio where he can play the light jazz he loves so much. Seeking more excitement in his life, he takes an interest in a collection of people in a local pub who the barman describes as "criminals". Despite this Alan approaches the woman of the group – the sexy and charming Beatrice, but is surprised when she responds to his advances. As he gets to know her, he uncovers a damaged soul with a murky past and dark present that perhaps he would be keep out of; however, as much as he is put off he is drawn in and soon finds himself involved deeper than he had ever planned.I'll be honest and say that I was only drawn to this film by the strange title; other than that I had no idea what it was about but decided to give it a stab anyway. However the film seems to be aiming for a mood rather than a narrative and, as a result, this film is more about the tone and feel and thus it fails to really engage because the story isn't there. Well, there is a story but it comes second to the mood and it isn't well developed, is full of illogical holes that just don't convince and feels like a mishmash of other films' ideas. It is interesting at points but ultimately it doesn't work. The film tries to be seedy and introspective, using smoky rooms, jazz and crime as motivators and the "normal guy" as our way in, but even this doesn't totally work and elements of it failing make it feel like it has all been forced from the start – certainly the choice of the jazz music is way off.However, as the title suggests, the film is more about Beatrice than the other characters and, as such, it is interesting enough even if she isn't as well developed a character as a "character driven film" would usually require. The performance from Argento is good and she has a real sexy presence that is more than just her taking her clothes off for the cameras – it is an aspect of her character that the film uses well. Harris is every bit as bland as the music he plays and he is the reason why I never bought the main relationship once – OK, she's after a "nice guy" but would she go for someone so very bland? The rest of the cast are colourful enough and do OK work with very basic material; Rhys-Meyers is good, Everett does his usual lazy, bi-sexual performance, Hart has a small role and the rest are just basic "East End thug" sorts.Overall this is a film to watch for the sexy, dark presence of Argento and that alone. Outside of her, the narrative is pretty weak and never really convinced me or involved me; the dramatic fireworks come and go without really doing much and by the end I was pretty bored by the whole affair. Argento and some of the support cast make it worth a go but, like Harris and his type of jazz music, this film is consistently bland and uninteresting.

Saw this on cable the other night - a very stylish and energetic little film, with fine central performances from Asia Argente, the always-great Jared Harris and Rupert Everett (who broods like no other). Catch this Monkey if you can.